257th post

oh darn. my blog image is so unstable! in the afternn it was working and just now it isnt again and then i waited a while and tried again and now it can work. 好烦喔... haiz... i suddenly feel like studying again! mainly cos i cant play audition i guess *curses my brother* and cos im getting sick of watching videos. ok not im getting sick but more like theres hardly any ones to watch i guess. im almost done watching all those that i currently like so unless i find new ones i dont think i'll be watching them too often. or not. some of them i need to wait for ppl to upload and so i was thinking maybe just study while waiting. and do my homework.

did you know i hardly touched my homework? the only thing i've done so far is less than 1/4 of my restaurant review and [wait arh i go check] ohhh i finished practicing the english UNSW paper and my physics assignment 6 graph and physics revision questions. and i remember i also did one page of my geog txtbk. lol... i havent done any of my online homeworks because i dont feel like doing. i feel like quitting school mannnn... argh. i was planning to do a lot of things during the holidays but sometimes i just dont feel like it.

today when i woke up it was so damn noisy lah... argh. SO NOISY OUTSIDE. those ppl painting the walls or sth... dunno what they doing lah. but i know its noisy and dirty. i felt quite pissed when i woke up cos so noisy and just woke up mah so not much mood to be happy. then cos its noisy outside so i went to play the piano very loudly. XD

anyway im seldom happy when i wake up. did you know... one of the times im most 'myself' is when i just wake up? cos its then that i reflect about everything that had happened the day before and think about all the tasks that i have to do on that day. the other time that im 'myself' is just before i go to sleep. those are the times when im most at ease, when im definite and clear of what im doing and what im supposed to do, and when i look at the big picture of everything and make decisions which i know i wont regret because i've thought about it clearly and without any distractions so its the best solution. i think those times of the day are really the best when i can reflect on my life and know which direction im moving towards.

nowadays its so warm inside the computer room so i turn on that huge fan but its so noisy. right now its not even facing me cos my dad faced it at my bro's comp and said that its the computer which needs the fan more. ehhh me leh? haiz.... lol. nevermind. i wont die anyway, im just complaining. SO WARM NOW... ARGH.

WOW i almost forgot that i was loading a video. GREAT! (: thats good cos it means that im getting back my motivation to study. i didnt know it would come back so quick though. just a few days. it used to take weeks. i was planning to do a lot of things during the holidays like jogging, swimming and jamming with my friends. and studying. my results werent too good this term. well, they were good this term but they werent good to me this term. and neither were they good to my dad. he said my results were very average. he seemed quite disappointed and i felt really upset so i decided to study more this june holidays.

seems like i'll be stuck at home for quite a number of days i guess... i want to go jogging but im not going cos i know that my mum will complain about my clothes cos then she have to wash them. and im not going swimming cos theres no one to go with... haiz. really hope i can go out and see some sunlight soon and have some fun. i'll rot at home this way with nothing to look forward to day after day. im wasting my time and we have limited time but im wasting away my life if i continue on like this. i want to change it but im not doing anything about it. damn it.

im going out quite a few times during the holidays - do project, jamming, cca, presentation, escape themepark, chalet, and maybe other stuff. (: hopefully. the more i go out, the more human i'll be. it feels terrible to stay at home all day, as if im sick or not allowed to go out. well yes so what if im sick? i still must go out or i dont think i'll recover. there was once when i was still in rosyth, my back had some problem during the march or sept hols and it was really pain for a few days. i couldnt strain it or it'd hurt really badly. but once i went back to sch aft the hols, i recovered instantly. it was like magic. just a few hours of going out, talking and laughing with my friends and i was fine. it seemed so easy compared to those few days sitting at home worrying that my back would never recover.

im not too sure anymore if i'll still backtrack anymore. it seems so meaningless suddenly. why not just throw away those memories? i dont know. oh yeah nowadays im also suddenly very interested in writing short stories and that day i suddenly thought of writing a long one, but it might take some time. i usually stop halfway through things ;D bye then, take care all

[ps: know what? my video's loaded. WOW. i didnt know i took so long to type all that.]

256th post

arghh my blog image cant appear. damn it. looks so terrible without the image. if the image doesnt appear sometime soon i think i will change my blogskin cos no choice. i have been sick for the past 3 days. today 4th day liao. at first it was just a very terrible sore throat, but i had blocked nose and runny nose soon after. now im better le but still not fully recovered and i cant touch any chocolate or heaty things. i hope i can recover fast cos i want to start eating chocolate and junk food and i know that i also cant eat straight aft i recover, still have to wait a few days before i can start eating. yesterday night my throat was so itchy i almost couldnt sleep. kept coughing... haiz.

i have been watching videos for the past 2 days on the internet and today isnt really an exception either, even though i went to school for maths olympiad. so 3 days i guess. there was one day [yesterday i think] that i watched 22 episodes of some anime in a row, and each episode was about half an hour. O.O haha. but thats not really new to me also la.. maths olympiad today was tough. but heck lah, i know its always been like this. but i can still hope, can i? i can still try and hope that for once it'll be easier. oh well anyway thats over. i left loads of blanks because i didnt few like crapping answers out cos it seems so dishonest. what if you get it right by luck or chance? then thats not really counted as correct answer and i dont think the person deserves to get a award just because of that. so i decided not to crap out answers, just like i didnt last year. it just doesnt feel right to get something correct just because of luck or chance. i dont think i believe in luck. like last time, i hated using the phrase 'good luck' when exams were coming and i hated hearing it from my friends. because you're not supposed to score well by luck, are you? oh well, maybe its just me.

well, thats really all, i havent been doing work for the past few days and so i have no idea how my planning of finishing up all the work by first half of june hols will work, but i'll leave that to tomorrow i guess. (: cya!

okay yesterday and today first, then if i have time i backtrack.

Tuesday - 22nd May 2007

Indian Cultural Appreciation. for the first half of the day we did henna/kolam/rangoli. our own artwork. before that of course there was some briefing/talk. second half we watched a bollywood movie which was quite nice in my opinion. haha. but some parts were quite mushy... lols... cos got a couple, then the guy keep being so mushy [ewww] but it was nice and funny (: we skipped a lot of parts though, cos teacher say not impt. ): so sadd!!! i wanted to watch. haizz... nevermind, i guess if they let us watch this kind of movies then i will prefer enrichment to lessons, but if they just ask us do work and BLAH, then i'll prefer lessons cos in the classroom can roam about and got more space and can do loads of stuff instead of jus sitting in drama studio listen to talks. yepp.

had cca after school. the sec 3s were working on farewell i think. haiz i was quite upset again that session cos my sect sec 2s were sort of being uncooperative... the sec 3s ask us just do something for farewell, then liddat also cannot meh? other ccas like band all that, they each person do farewell presents and stuff... then we already considered quite slack at times cos our sect we nvr even go learn programming or help out with competition... then its like, they're our seniors after all, right? and they're leaving so why cant we just like, i dunno, be nice for once and do something for their farewell presents? im not angry at my sect members but just really disappointed that they hardly care about our seniors at all... ): nevermind, i know i care about our seniors and thats why i dont mind doing the extra work. its worth it because that means i can do something for all my seniors and not just one of them. i just want my sect members to be nicer to our seniors.... haiz... i slept at about 12.30am cos i was working on the farewell stuff.

Today Wednesday - 23rd May 2007

Little India. We grabbed our bags, got a briefing, got onto the bus, and oh we've reached. it was boring to me cos i've been there and i dont find it very interesting anymore. and, furthermore, i was sleepy!! rawr i couldnt sleep cos we were walking around all the time. there was a few nice things, of course, cos theres always nice things when ur with friends. i bought chips, yiinghuey bought chocolates, kialin bought a drink, and we all shared. (: we plan de hor!! haha. oh yah we went restaurant to eat lunch and me and yiinghuey were planning our restaurant review on her handphone while we were inside. lol so guai. hahaha. not me, yiinghuey started it. i think the food was ok, and i would've eaten it if not for almost all of it being spicy. i cant eat spicy food. too bad for me i guess. wasted $4.50 on hardly anything. what i ate probably cost only about $1 i think. i took some photos cos yiinghuey's handphone almost no batt le. the bus ride back to school was much faster than the one we took to get there. oh and i got caught eating chocolate on the bus by our form teacher. she turned and look at me, then the whole class turn lah! oops... but she never scold (: our form teacher is nice i guess.

went back to school, debriefed [i was sleepy], went to science lab to do project. i feel glad the experiment's sorta over. (: it releases some stress. after project i went back to class, packed my stuff, went canteen, bought something, went home. i saw form teacher at bus stop and i was like *gosh*. she was listening to music. mp3 i think. 76 was coming so i went to the front. there was another bus at the back and i thought teacher would take that one but she took 76 instead. O.O so weird. i think she takes mrt also but im not sure cos she got off one stop before me and i didnt see her at the station, but im quite sure if she was there she would have taken same mrt as me. she couldnt possibly catch the mrt that i saw while i was on the bus. nope i dont think so.

came home, some people were cleaning the windows [scary sia] and i decided to go cwp to buy slingbag soon after. (: whee i went to buy!!! my greatest accomplishment today. lolll. its black also! haha. i noticed after i bought the bag that a lot of my things were mostly blue or black. seldom have a lot of other colours. went for violin lesson today. i was wearing a black jacket, carrying a black bag, and holding a black violin case. LOL. pants were blue. my school bag is dark blue, and pencilbox is light blue, cup is light blue, and handphone pouch is just blue. see? told you a lot of blue and black. haha. XD came home and my mum wasnt too happy with the bag cos i didnt tell her i was going to buy it. oops... sorry mum. violin lesson today wasnt good. next week dont have [YEAH!] but im supposed to self-learn a new and really difficult song [DAMN!]

yepp i think thats all for today and yesterday. so sleepy... zZz...

beware of this person! he just takes photos of you with no reason

whee look at our cauldron! yiinghuey did the words (: i sort of edited a bit.

took this while going home from violin lesson. (:

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lastly, before i end my post... i would really like to say a big thank you to xiwen and my sect head meiying. and of course to my sect members for um.. well... talking to me again? i really appreciate it and i'll definitely watch my words next time. and im really really sorry if i said anything that offended you all last time. THANKS.

whee. ok im both happy and sad, and im only sad mainly cos its still week 9 and times seems to be moving so slowly. well, im happy because yesterday i went to buy a new jacket! (: yiinghuey and crystal came too, and after that we mugged at woodlands library, which was fun. it was so quiet in the library! just a small noise and it seemed like everyone around the area could hear. that is sooo unlike the 4th storey - children's library. haha. we went 2nd storey, some reference place. it was nice la. we mugged for about 1hr and went home. whee my new jacket is black with 2 white stripes (: yay i think its nice, but the material very thick! oh well. im also glad that 听写 is finally over. PHEW. i spent who-knows-how-long studying for it like a 白痴 lah... haiz. we had debate today and ohmygosh i think im going to flunk it. i spoke below the time and was hesitating a lot. 2nd time that this happened! 1st time was english speech. haiz... i was never like this last time... please dont let it have a 3rd time.

week 10 is enrichment week, and 3 out of 4 days, we'll be stuck in drama studio for the whole day. *curses**swears* i think its quite unfair that Justice and Loyalty get to go for the maths and humanities trail thing and we're all just stuck in drama studio and our legs will turn numb from sitting there so long. RAWR. ok i think its very unfair. haizz but not like i can do anything by complaining right? although i think if they give one class a chance to go somewhere, all the classes should have the chance to go too, cos its just fair. i guess maybe they chose those 2 classes cos they were in a way 'superior' and maybe they thought it would be better to choose them? well, alright then, im just saying maybe but still, hey fine, i cant change your mind right? fine, fine, we'll stay in the drama studio and rot, just like you want us to.

today's cca was... well, i guess i have to thank xiwen for it. actually i know that i've been treating certain people worse than usual. for example, i used to go home with a cca friend and now i go home with another group of friends and hardly bother about her. it makes me feel very guilty but i did that just because there is a friend in that group who takes almost the same journey as me, whereas my previous friend did not. i tried asking her to walk with that group last time, but she didnt want to. haiz... alright then. i just hope that that doesnt cause her to be too angry with me... also, i know there was one cca session when it was me who suddenly did not speak and therefore probably the cause of the wall between me and the group. i've got only myself to blame i guess. it was just that... i felt that some of them were too rude to the seniors and i was well... yeah i was pissed... haizz... i think i really regretted doing that... if only i could turn back time. well, if some people ever speak to me again, i'll definitely not do that again and change my attitude towards them. it was just that i took them for granted so yeah... i guess that teaches me a lesson not to take friends for granted. hopefully someday they'll talk to me again... haizz...

its really quite impossible to believe the sec 4 seniors are leaving in just 2 weeks' time... i think we'll miss them quite a lot. the sec 3 seniors are nice, but they're quiet and not too enthusiastic. its not that i dont like them, its just that i guess no one can replace anyone. whats going to happen in the nxt half of the year? sec 3s going to take over alr? that'd be fun i guess. well, thats all... gtg study for geog test... haiz.

its really hard to put up an act for so long. it really is. and i really wonder how people can do it. but then again, are they really putting up an act, or are they truly happy? its just hard trying to hide your feelings and acting like someone else when you're not. but then what if you're afraid to show your real self? i guess i'm afraid. i dont know how to explain it, its like theres a barrier between me and the world. this barrier which lurks around and never disappears, which appears so suddenly in front of me just when im just about to cross over the line. i never seem to be able to ever open up fully. i guess its just me. the barrier keeps reminding me who i am, and it keeps me from changing. when i think it over, i guess actually i havent really changed at all. im just putting up an act, and it seems so hard to keep it on, but i know i cant stop acting. maybe sometimes i can withdraw from the world and reside in my own thoughts, but it can never be for long, not as long as i have to face other people. i've just realised that perhaps there are others who are like me, and thinking about it gives me some comfort. maybe its because we are similar in a certain way. im not sure either. its so hard to explain this... who would actually understand it but a person who have experienced the same things?

i suppose that since i've been a different person all this while, theres no turning back. i dont think i will change back to my usual self because it would just draw many more stares and questions, things which i wouldnt want if i was myself again. sometimes... i really wish the whole world can understand me. but yet, sometimes, i also wish that no one will be able to understand me. maybe you dont know what im saying, but i think that after this, im finally getting a clue of who i am.

i love this.. looks so peaceful (:

from school

in the canteen. from left - crystal, yiinghuey, peishan.

from left - sharon, crystal, yiinghuey.

rain so heavy!

yiinghuey sent me this.

im not doing my work again. someone help... haizz... sometimes i really feel like snapping myself out of it but it never happens. im stuck in the middle of 2 totally different worlds, i feel so random. joan calls it split personality. wonder if its true. haizz... *SIGH* i feel so confused, cos its like one part of me wants to do homework while the other just cant wait to start gaming. maybe thats why im blogging. its neither here nor there. i did some work in the morning [if u can even call that work] and played sims after that. felt really bad cos i was feeling guilty and the game seemed boring and it just seemed so hard to please those sims... just like how hard it is to please my mum i guess - she was nagging at me all the time while i was playing. i really dont know what to do now... i feel like gaming, cant wait for my tv show to start, and yet i also feel guilty cos im not doing my hw. on top of all of that, my stomach hurts real bad.

haha i just thought that wanjane would probably say my blog is depressing again. ok then, lets see.... nice stuff? its 2 more weeks to the june holidays! or rather, 9 more schooldays to be exact. i cant wait till then cos during the june hols i'll be able to sleep and play more, start jamming with my band friends, go for the chalet with rosyth GE, go escape themepark with my fuchun friends, and other fun stuff. but i guess it also means im gonna spend more money... sad... my mum's going to complain still i guess. ok good stuff good stuff.... lemme think. oh yah i ate logan just now which was nice, and my stomach's a bit better now. oh and my mum nags at me but nags at my bro more. haha. is that good or bad? both i guess. oops. at least im doing hist portfolio assignment now with yiinghuey and peishan so i dont feel too bad? haha ok i must work hard.. cos later want to watch tv XD hee. so i think i'd better go now. cya!!

im going to be really busy this weekend, because theres loads of things to do by next week. last macbeth group presented today, and history teacher like bullet-train again. PE lesson we play skipping and stuff. quite fun but the 2 people hold skipping rope 1 person jump that one so scary... me and peishan rushed print ad during recess cos eng lesson was right after recess and we havent done. peishan was so 激动 lor... cool down peishan, its just a print ad. anyway we handed it up in time. chinese lesson we just went through a bit of 公函 and then whole class start talking and teacher told us another ghost story before she go. art lesson teacher not here so 2 free periods, plus the last period cos teacher help out with jubilate. oh yah i wonder how it went... i didnt go watch it. had maths olympiad training again today and today was one of the most cheem lessons... haiz. 2nd last lesson le. just now xiwen ask if i watch 'supernatural' and i was wondering what it was. watched it today and it was so cool. my mum say she saw some episodes before. [she nvr tell me.. ):] nvm, i've decided to watch it every week if i can remember. cos the show is so nice! although quite scary at times. but i think sam and dean are funny! they keep playing pranks lor... haha... im currently watching KO One and am planning to stop soon because i have a lot of work to do ): haiz. oh yah i slept during last period today which was very 爽 cos can catch up on my sleep. that day home econs 3 periods we slept through. i also have a new kor Keefe. XD whee he is same age as me, nice, and loves smsing. wanted to borrow a book from library yesterday but decided to borrow it after week 9 cos if not i scared i wont study. (: gtg now, bye.

*yawn* im sleepy. zZz... haiz. morning jog sucked man. it was probably my slowest ever since i came to st nicks. ran with peishan and she kept poking me when i slowed down and she wanted to continue jogging. ouch. pain leh. rawr. was so sian. probably also the first time i talked so much while jogging. hahas. i think im getting more quiet. thats good news to me XD hee. cos i talk less crap. hahaha. anyway, peishan keeps making me laugh lor... aiyo... first time i go recess with her that time, she make me laugh until i had to stop eating for a while. lols. then jogging rite, she keep making me laugh also lah, make me waste my energy go laugh. hmphs. i think her sense of humour is queer. physics lesson was funny today. we kept asking the teacher if he likes another teacher and he didnt answer 'no' leh! they say he blushing, but i dunno about that lah. anyway, most of our classmates guess since he cant say 'no', it means 'yes'. and then he keep on changing the subject lor! we ask him then he's silent for a while, then start saying 'finish copying anot?' and stuff. lols. we also had english enrichment today and after school. our group didnt debate today. (: but we're all nervous because our opponents are all good speakers. nevermind, we shall do our best.

nowadays the weather is very warm... and more mosquitoes around. mosquito bites... haiz. for the past 2 or 3 days we turned on the air-con! yay!!! air-con is so nice... so cooling... (: today i have to do physics assignment and print advertisement. yepp thats all. next week is going to be torture, serious. 5 tests and 1 project and 1 assignment. so far. yes, so far. oh well. hmm... i feel so naive. i have watched the 2nd last episode of a show but i refuse the watch the last episode because to me, when i've watched it, then i guess i'll probably not watch it again, so i want to just stop there, but i know that in the end i'll still have to finish up the show. so does it make a difference? i guess in scientific terms no, but hey, to a child, it can mean a lot. lastly, i found out who wrote the hate mail and im quite upset at it, because i had really hoped very hard that it would not be her, but turns out it is true after all. im also disappointed not because that person hates me, but for other reasons. but then again, whats the point even if i've found out who wrote that? it doesnt give me any satisfaction nor am i happy about it, and i will still treat that person as normal.

Mainly because, as a saying goes:
"仇恨是最要不得的"

wah. so much to post about, and so many pics, but just too little time. maybe i will post in week 10 or during the june holidays. i dont think i'll have enough time to post pics this week or next, because we have like, 5 tests next week - chi lit, 听写, science, geog, and home ec. OMG. chi lit and 听写 alone i can die le lor. add in all the rest arh... [no comments] anyway, we had macbeth play today, finally all our hard work has sort of paid off. our group felt we did reasonably fine, except a few things, like the witches standing there like 白痴s, and the thunder not loud enough to hear. im quite upset about the missing witch hat, because that was definitely not our fault and we've already tried our best to find it. and my towel was inside. o.O haha. the one kialin was supposed to pass me cos i left it at her house. anyway, the whole plastic bag was missing so i think i'll see if i can find it tomorrow. i seem to have lost my elit book in all the mess too. hopefully that is not true and i will find it tomorrow too.

when i came home today, i played audition for pratically the whole day, except when bathing and eating dinner, yeah. because my bro for once let me use the com. i was soo happy!!! whee. i made 3 new friends on audition, even got one of their msn add, and levelled up to lvl 11. yay!! such fun and bliss. but at the end of the day, due to one of my friend persistently asking me to play beat up and because im not good at it, my fingers hurt. ouchhh. oh well. typing is painful. whee i found out that club is fun. and i took my test 3 times. 3rd time pass. 1st 2 times were so close to passing. oh well. i have to go now, i havent done a lot of homework but the main thing is, my mum wants me to sleep now cos i turned on the air-con and i havent went into the room. OOPS. waste electricity. haha. okay okay, sorry mum, i shall go sleep now then. byee.

(: sleepover was fun. haha. ok, friday we had 2.4 and i got 26th position! i was angry and disappointed, cos i never practice for 2 full weeks then like that. but anyway, glad it was over. i think my timing was 16:47 or something. i cant remember. so slow ): ok i shall do better next year. 总之, napfa this year sucked. sobb. anyway, friday after school i waited for my friends to finish their ccas. i had maths olympiad from 3 - 4.30pm. it was so cheem!!! thanks crystal and munfoong for helping. (: actually its not cheem, its just that the coach look at it from very different points of view to solve it and i didnt notice it. luckily i can understand after he explain. after maths training, munfoong told me she was going caroline's house and she knew i was sleeping over at my friend's house later, so she asked me to go along. felt weird. they were doing macbeth project. [their cauldron fire is nice.] i stayed there and watched [3 of them only! caroline, wendy, and munfoong] them do until around 6.30pm.

then i went back to school cos peishan's cca ends 6.30 and kialin and yiinghuey's cca around 6.30 - 7pm. we met in canteen and then later went to kialin's house. left all our stuff in her house and came down to coffeeshop for dinner. after dinner, we each took turns to bathe and when everyone was done we gathered in kialin's room to start on the project. (: was fun. we werent all serious but we did get work done and we played too. kialin and emily were scandalous! hahaha... XD emily deleted quite a number of photos that i took. oh well. anyway we planned to sleep at 3am but turned out we slept earlier than that. i woke up around 3am and saw yiinghuey still awake. we decided to sleep on the floor. later, when we were still awake, we saw emily wake up and climb out of bed. 3 of us took our stuff and went to the kitchen. the atmosphere seemed so much better there to me. we did our homework, which felt good because in the end i was only left with physics assignment and theres no test next week. but i had a stomach cramp which was really pain and that was sad. we slept on the sofa in the living room around 5.45am, when all of us agreed a few hours ago that we would wake up at 6.30am. so 45 mins of sleep. not bad. turned out that i slept from then until 9am or so. i overslept. sadly my stomach cramp was still there. the others woke up earlier than me and janeal had already come when i woke up. i joined them and after that we did a full rehearsal a few times, and we packed up.

yiinghuey was the first one to go home, then emily. the rest of us went coffeeshop to eat brunch, which was kway chap. tasted nice, probably because i hadnt eaten them for a long time. while we were eating, janeal noticed that [gasp] our elit teacher was a few tables away eating with her daughter and son. she kept smiling at us and we were all laughing. kialin said she never saw her there before. so weird cos we just finished our elit project! o.O elit teacher left first, then we were done and we all went home. i think the whole sleepover was really fun, just that i couldnt really enjoy it because i had stomach cramp from when i went to the kitchen in the middle of the night/morning, until i went home, [it went off and on so randomly] so i didnt really have strength to help much on saturday morning... sorry groupmates... ): but hopefully our play will be a success on monday, after all our work put in.

anyway, right now i only have physics assignment to do, so i feel very relaxed. by the way, TO WANJANE: you really made me download the sims!!! rawr. darn... im addicted now. if i dont do well for tests or whatnot cos i didnt study arh... rawr to you. XD okay anyway, later in the evening my dad wants to watch xXx so i cant use that tv to watch twin of brothers. sobbb. have to use that old tv. but then i want to watch xXx also!!! my bro tell me go record the xXx. i think i will. charging my mp4 now, so later can record. :D actually i thought of recording twin of brothers, and watch xXx instead, but that stupid old tv cannot record from it lor. ): bleah. so yeah, hopefully i can record xXx successfully. (: i want to go play sims now. XD okay then, bye!!

well, i cant post much cos i've got to rush for theory lesson soon. napfa test unsuccessful. home econs was sooo irritating today! sew belt leh! OMG. i was so pissed cos keep missing the hole. during geog lesson today, teacher didnt come so the class celebrated karen and chaiyi's birthdays. mrs cheong came in halfway through. didnt scold us though. after napfa test i rushed for cca. it was almost 5pm already lor! ohmygod. i was so frantic. section members ignored me again and now im starting to really wonder what did i do to offend them? went home with shuling, meiying, wanjane and wenyi today. wanjane started talking about sims in the mrt and later i told her, if i start playing sims again either this week or next, it must be because of her and so i wont let her off. rawr. hehehe XD. yepp thats all, i got to go for theory now, dont want to be too late. byeee!

oh nooo. im so doomed. haiz. but anyway, im glad ipw presentation and speech is over, makes me feel less stressed. (: whee. had english speech today, this was one of the times when i was really scared, because 1. people encourage me. 2. whole class so quiet!!! oh well, glad its over. PHEW. today im mainly supposed to do home econs portfolio, but somehow, i started memorising elit lines instead. OOPS. oh well. its getting late... so i guess i should do home econs soon. but sound so cheem lor. i stayed back today to do elit props with yiinghuey and we managed to finish 5 and halfway through painting the cauldron. yay? some group members want to sleepover at kialin's house to do project, but yiinghuey's worried they'll just play and not do any work. i want to sleepover! i told my mum but so far she doesnt allow. but dont worry ;D these kind of things, she'll always allow in the end.

i didnt want to go for violin lesson as i thought it was going to be boring and all again today, but turned out a bit different than usual. first part when i playing scales, teacher very angry cos i nvr listen carefully and some notes too flat some notes too sharp, and he was like saying '你不要开玩笑' and '你的笑开得太大' which made me feel so pissed cos i was concentrating OK? [and his chinese sucks.] i really dont hear any difference in the notes kay? maybe my ear got problem la, but i really dont hear any difference then anyhow scold me. oh well. after that i played slower and tried correcting and i guess he was pleased, and after he was saying 'good'. what the... anyway the song i learnt today is NICE! whee. [i hate scales!!!]

im mainly supposed to do the maths quiz tomorrow, cos friday have maths training again. zzZ... weekends have quite a lot of homework to do. so far there is maths hw and physics assignment. haiz. AIYO I WANT TO SLEEP LIAO LAH. ok i shall go do home econs cos then after that i can sleep. byeee.



You have never really lived until you've done something for someone who can never repay you.
--Unknown--

i just realised what slacking is like. all the other times when i said i was slacking, i guess it wasnt fully true, becaues right now, im in one of my worst states. i have so much work to do and im not doing it. and somehow, right now im feeling like i wont mind if i get scolded by teachers or whoever. im just in a heck-care mood. and i dont like this feeling. i had so much work and guess what? i only did 1 piece of homework, and i havent even studied for tomorrow's test! im so darn anxious and stressed but i cant seem to do any work. its really one of my first times. i study for 5 minutes and i feel like playing, so i play for 3 hours and i dont feel like studying anymore. oh no... im doomed. but its not like i can study anyway. i have no idea what to do, so im starting to panic. uh oh. HOW? i feel like sleeping but cos im so worried, im sweating all over. eww. i want to take a bath. and then i want to watch tv. but its so late le! aiyooo. i think im going crazy. damn. i cant even blog properly now. fine, i shall not blog then. hopefully the next time i blog, im in a right state.