[tag reply]

kc: uhhh. dotz.



slept around 1am+ after i came back from see2 on thursday night. woke up around 6.30am on friday. packed for camp and everything, but reached later than the meeting time at 9am. but then again, almost everyone else reached later than that too. phew. the exco met and discussed stuff [although i have to admit that we didnt get much done actually, until the later part] and then started setting up the games and everything. then around 3pm [it was supposed to be 2.30pm] we met the rest of the club in mpr and got them to start decorating their flags in their sections. then, there was the games - longest line [form a line with everything the group has], treasure hunt [find specific items], foosball [copied from see2. it wasnt my idea. the human form of table soccer.], and landmine [5x5 grid and you're supposed to get from one end to another without stepping on landmines]. after the games, we let them wash up while we started preparing for bbq and night trail. me and caroline waited for the ordered food and charcoal, then brought them up to the rooftop garden where we had our bbq.

bbq was fun in a way. but i felt verysuperextremely guilty about the fact that our sec 4 seniors had to start the bbq fire for us... and damn landiao since i didnt even know how i could help. the bbq itself was fun and quite good. i had a fun time asking wanjane to help me get food :D [yes i know im evil] since she was bbqing food. but i didnt only ask for myself lah. like i heard some people saying they were hungry and i got wanjane to get food for them too :D sorry wanjane ^^'' umm. then after the bbq, they were supposed to return to the mpr to be briefed for night trail. the clearing up of the bbq was done by mainly the excos [new and old] and it didnt go too well, since there was a bunch of extra food which we had to finish bbqing.

after that, we went over to the mpr and i slacked a bit while most of the exco went to put makeup to make themselves look scary and a few remained to convince the club members to give up their handphones. we wanted to get hold of a handphone with bluetooth in each group, and then give it back to them and send them clues through bluetooth later. but i think most of the members were being quite uncooperative or something. i wasnt too sure because i was somewhere else. hmm. -no idea where i was- then we finally got a handphone for each group, and then we gave them the first clue and let them set off. me and caroline were doing the cybercafe, which was right next to the mpr and had loads of exit signs near them so it was hardly dark at all. was extremely difficult to scare people, since they got the meng people to stand in front and barge into places. i did manage to scare one or two people successfully though :D [haha okay failure lah.] and then one of the groups got the wrong clue or something, so our night trail was ruined. D: and we didnt want it to just end like that, so we decided to get all of them back to the mpr and start finding the flags there. that was quite screwed up too. apologised to them after that, since we heard that people were quite pissed at us. i felt really really sorry, but it wasnt like i could do anything to make them 消气. so in the end, we just made a quick apology and let them watch the movies/sleep.

exco stayed up to plan for the next day's games. we wanted to make it perfect, yes, so that no one could complain about it and we would feel a bit better too, since it would go better than our night trail. what we did for the first part of the discussion was mainly just what happened and where we went wrong and how we needed to make changes the next day. nothing much concrete. then later we started suggesting the games to play and decided on a classroom game where we hid stuff and got them to find stuff [again, copied from see2.] and captain's ball after that. then, we decided on what to hide and finally went to sleep when we were done.

i didnt really sleep and stayed up with wenyi and yanlin to talk. we talked a lot. a lot a lot. we talked about the our club and how it really had a lot of problems and how we wanted to improve it. we talked about other clubs and how they were so pro and how we wanted to be like them and maybe we could really carry out our see2 proposals, but then we needed to improve our club first before we could to that. then we talked about the exco and our planning and the problems in our exco and how we could improve that too. and about the next year and what we should do for next year and our new plans and everything. we really want to make an effort to improve this cca. for me, after see2 and this cca camp, i've come to this sudden realisation that i want to do something for this club before i leave, and i really mean it seriously. i want to help improve our club, and since i'm part of exco, i can actually do this and carry it out, instead of just sitting around and thinking about it. i finally know the real meaning of being in the exco and helping the cca to improve. there's a lot to that, but i really believe that we can do this. anyway, we were quite surprised that we could talk for about 3 - 4 hours about that, and i was actually very serious and talking about it didnt make me feel sleepy or anything. instead, i felt motivated to start working on it. and i think that even though me and wenyi were the ones who talked more, yanlin was really interested too, because even though she wanted to sleep at first, she actually sat up to listen when we talked on for the next few hours. after that, yanlin and wenyi finally went to sleep, while i joined shuling and another jc1 to talk and stay awake.



later in the morning, around 7.15am, i started waking the exco up. [i realised that i was the only one awake and thus i had to wake them up otherwise everyone would probably sleep until super late since they were so tired.] me and wenyi went to ask the teachers if we could open up a few classrooms, and i was half sleeping while wenyi was talking to the 2 teachers in the staffroom. [haha oops paiseh.] then we went back and got the others to go to the canteen to eat, then exco stayed and planned for the classroom game. after eating, to entertain them, we played some game where we had to sit in a circle. then we played the classroom game, but it was a bit stone because people didnt really do much to find stuff and some stuff were quite lame and obvious.

then when they were done, we went to the basketball court and played captain's ball until around 11.10am. i almost died from playing captain's ball, since 1) i didnt sleep at all in the night, 2) it was burning hot, 3) there were very few people in our team so had to run around more, and 4) i was trying to 自high and be enthu so that the rest would be enthu too. almost threw a tantrum and didnt want to play before the game started, but in the end, when someone said something like 'you're the section leader leh', i decided to just block out my personal emotions so that it wont affect others and i just went to play. it was quite fun when you really played, actually. (: although somewhere in between while resting, i was actually quite pissed and emoing/stoning/resting/dying in some corner and sort of crying. luckily no one saw. phew. and then later on i just went back to playing as per normal. my team was good. really. and thanks to wenyi and caroline for coming over to our team. xiwen was pro and huiyee and chingee were making an effort to play too :D needless to say, i was super proud of them. [sorry um can't rate my own performance cos i dunno how to rate? haha.] although it was quite sad that the others weren't there.

after that, we went back to mpr and we gave them their section prizes and told them to start cleaning up. prizes was a bag of chips and gummies for each section. my section had loads so everyone got 2 gummies [i only got 1? T_T haha no lah. cos i was the one who said i didnt want, when huiyee asked me. gave it to xiwen later on.] and we ate about half the chips and then decided to just give the rest to PA section :D see? we're very nice people. haha okay then we cleared up and everyone left the place. me, wenyi, caroline, wanjane, shuling were probably the last ones around. i think. caroline, wanjane and shuling brought the remaining stuff down to the PA room, and then caroline went home to put down her stuff. we put up posters for cca fair next year, then went to eat at amk central. caroline came while we were halfway eating. ordered her share already, so yeah. (: then after i ate finish, i was feeling damn tired and sleepy, and was half sleeping while they talked about i-dunno-what-since-i-was-sleeping-and-not-listening. they tried to make me more awake but it didnt really work. when we finally walked out, i became more awake again. and then sank back to half-asleep. caroline left for home, then we took mrt home. oh yah and wanjane gave me a present from japan. its a cute little 2x2 rubiks cube as a keychain. :D cool but quite... uh... lame. haha. after that, i followed wanjane to cwp since she wanted to buy her music album [half asleep still. i thought i would be a little more awake, but that didnt really happen.] and then finally took the train home.

when i reached home, i was almost ready to conk out. i have no idea how i walked home or managed to shower or sit around waiting for dinner or did what my mum asked me to do or ate dinner at all. it was all done while i was half asleep and extremely disoriented. in the shower, i dropped some broom thing [its to sweep the water into the drain] and i somehow managed to pick it up and continue sweeping and place it back. when my mum told me to get stuff from the fridge, i would open it and try to find it, but couldnt manage to find it and tell her that there wasnt any of what she wanted in the fridge. that happened at least 3 times. one of them was tomatoes, which was the easiest, because after looking for a minute, i managed to find them and grabbed 2. one was lime, and i actually searched the fridge high and low and said, 'there's no lime in the fridge' while in my head i was thinking of something which looked completely different from a tiny round green lime. [i was in my own world at that time] when my mum shouted the word lime at me again, i managed to find the packet of limes and took one out. and another one was chilli, and in our house chilli means belacan which my dad likes. i actually took out the real chilli bottle and got scolded really badly, then asked my mum, 'what chilli?'. and then while eating dinner, i was sometimes eating sometimes sleeping, so i didnt really know what was going on, and my dad shouted me awake twice when i was nodding off. i almost couldnt finish dinner, since i ate lunch quite late and was pretty full and my dinner was quite early. after a very long time, i finally finished and went to wash my plate.

then i went back to the table and fell asleep on the chair. [FINALLY. couldnt sleep before dinner, since i would probably be unable to wake up for dinner and my mum would kill me.] slept at about 7pm. which also means that i managed to keep awake for 36.5 hours continuous, since i woke up at 6.30am on friday :D yay! woke up again around 11.30pm, and my right leg was super numb since i was sitting on it. after it became better, i went to brush my teeth and go to bed. turned on the air-con, so i slept on the floor to get the cool air, and had to wake up sometime in the middle of the night to get back into my bed. and gladly continued sleeping until 10.30am in the morning. :D EH NOT BAD LEH I STILL CAN WAKE UP AT 10.30AM. haha but i was a bit groggy still when i woke up today.



today, i went out in the afternoon to cwp. sent the investiture uniform to laundry, then went to buy new ink cartridges for our printer at home. my mum scolded me for buying the twin cartridges which saved $6. =.= and then i wanted to buy a new phone battery but it was over 50 bucks and i didnt have enough money, so i skipped that. then went macs to buy food for me and jan, and went back to marsiling mrt. bought bread there for my mum, and went home. it was something like a 3-in-1 thing too. haha. besides that, i've just been using my laptop for the rest of the time. still feeling a bit disoriented actually.



after see2 and cca camp, i finally have the motivation to do things. a lot of things. shall update my previous list of things that i want to do.

STUDY:
- school subjects
- physics
- japanese
- music theory

PRACTISE:
- violin
- piano
- guitar
- writing with left hand
- photography

EXERCISE:
- badminton
- basketball
- swimming

READ:
- chinese [everyday]
- lit book [again]
- all my unread books
- other unread books in my house

OTHERS:
- clear out all my random & useless stuff
- go on a shopping spree
- search for a course for my section
- complete holiday homework
- work on my novels

yep thats all for now. maybe i'll think of more later and update the list.



i actually took a super long time for this whole post. the later part of the afternoon until now which is around 10.30pm. :O gah. thats long. but i was doing other things in between too lah. anyway, i'm hoping that i can cut down on junk food during the holidays. i've been eating a lot for the past 5 days already leh. so less junk food and more exercise. and then i'm also thinking of trying my hand at stuff like photoshop and flash since i hardly ever use them. oh and just being random here, but my mum cleaned the fan today and its totally white and shiny now. yay :D although she was quite angry with me for not helping out much. and i bought the cartridge but then i realised that our printer still has ink left. =.= so maybe i'll change the cartridge in a week or so. unless my printing of holiday homework manages to use up all the ink.

oh by the way, did i mention? my dad bought a camera. and he lent it to his friend. my mum was quite mad about that, but he said that he would bring it home sometimes [he doubts my interest in photography and thus thinks that it would be more logical to lend it to his friend who has a greater interest in photography.] so i'm going to use it when he brings it home. :D at least i can use a digital camera instead of my stupid handphone one. handphone cameras are good and handy, but proper cameras are pro-er. anyway, just see how fast my handphone batt dies lah. my dad says he wants to turn one side of our living room into a studio and bring home all his lightings. [we already have a stack of backdrops in our house.] :D coolios. i cant wait to try out the camera when he brings it home. :D

tomorrow's the dateline for nanowrimo. what am i doing? blogging when i have less than 15k of words and 1 and a half hours left. conclusion: i gave up on it. but i think that giving up on it doesnt mean that i wont continue. i might. or i might continue with a different novel. lets see how things goes. because this novel's plot isnt exactly what i want, thats why i might be going back to my previous novel. nevertheless, nanowrimo was fun while i lasted. in a way, since it gave me a great sense of accomplishment.

i think thats all i have to say for now. its been a really tiring past 5 days. mx's going to beijing tmr, and crystal's going to europe the day after. D: okay random. anyway, even though its been tiring for the past 5 days, i think that the days ahead will be even more tiring. i'll be working harder than i've ever done for probably the past 3 years. no wait 6 years. or maybe even the past 9 years. and i'm going to achieve something at the end of the day. just you wait and see. it wont end up in failure. no it wont. i'm sure of that. even if i'm not able to complete everything, i'll be able to do something at least. something which proves that its worth it to live. for now, good night while i go off to read my storybooks [they're both due tmr. must see how fast i can chiong] and maybe finding homework to print later on. tata~



random facts to make life more interesting:
this is a long post.
i was actually giving out heat after i played the first game of captain's ball yesterday.
i was pissed at jan today after he did something he shouldnt have done, and then pretended that he didnt do anything. i thought of taking revenge, but then i remembered my values and i realised that thats not the way it should be.
i feel like playing dota.
i want the camera that my dad bought.
i'm serious about studying physics.
i miss see2 group 1.
i want to go for the see2 chalet, but i dunno when my group members are going, plus i've already decided to start working hard and stop wasting my time.
i might not be going out to play anymore in december. so if i did say that i will go out with you, i might change my mind.
i hate it when my mum nags at me. its not my fault that i'm bloody tired and disoriented.
when the exco was apologising to the club for a lousy night trail, i almost started crying.
right now, i have no idea what i want to do. just want i need to do.
i'm quite upset that i didnt manage to complete nanowrimo this year, when i was really aiming for it.
i want to go out with my friends. really. its just that i promised myself.
i might be going out tmr, but if i do, i'll feel extremely guilty and might end up slapping myself many times when i get home.
i hate the fact that my phone dies so easily, but the batt is really damn ex.
i want to get a new handphone, but i really like this model and it would be really extremely hard to persuade me to get a phone of a different model.

okay i think this can go on forever. nevermind then. bye!

[tag reply]

kc: -_- lol. whats your problem?



actually, i have a lot to blog about. but then, i dont have much time. so, i shall cut short the details. anyway, i couldnt have blogged all the details here, since they're too many and i cant even remember some. and i wouldnt want to in the first place. because they're too precious to note down. i'll remember them in my heart (:



today was the third and last day of see2. had to bring investiture uniform, plus a dark coloured tee. but ended up bringing st nicks infocomm tee cos the other st nicks people wanted to wear that. so anyway, had to bring loads of stuff, and came to school around 8am with mx. i missed the bus leh! because mx was slow. but anyway, not like i want to go so super early also. oh and he couldnt really sleep in the bus cos it was super crowded and we had to stand for most of the time. :D yay. haha okay i feel evil. anyway, i had to change to investiture uniform after that for the rehearsal and proper presentation. baoyi too. st nick's investiture uniform is nice, yes, but its extremely troublesome. the rest of the people in my group just wore blazers over their uniform. so good lah. D: and the shoes were uncomfortable. but had to bear with it lah.

before our actual presentation, we rehearsed a bit and slacked a bit. was quite fun lah. then we played cards too. [actually we played yesterday too.] and then the guys brought the lunch from the canteen to the classroom :D so we ate lunch in the classroom :D yay. and then mainly it was just half-rehearsing and half-slacking and people were being funny as usual. i really love our group. GROUP ONE ROCKS :D not only our proposal and all, but the fact that we're super bonded too. in our personal opinion, we're like one of the best groups. maybe even the best. :D not that we're trying to show off or whatever, but we really feel bonded and we're like super high and random together and have lots of fun and we can be serious when we want to and get things done. so i think we rock the world. :D i'm still super high now ok. what does that show you? haha you can guess for yourself.

during our presentation, we sort of screwed up a bit [i was quite disappointed that i wasnt presenting, but relieved at the same time. but i was feeling really guilty that i didnt really contribute much for the presentation thing. i'm so sorry.] and i think houyin was a bit pissed. [no offence, but he did look like he was kind of pissed at us.] but after that, i sort of compared our proposal to the others, and it was really hard to find another one which matched up to the standards we set. there were only about 1 or 2 other groups which had proposals which i found meaningful and feasible. most groups were going on about camps and how they would organise it. our group didnt really agree with the idea of camps and thus our idea was different from most groups. but anyway, we still think that our proposal is foolproof. so we're going to try it out. to show that it really can work. im looking forward to working hard on that. after the presentations, there were a few talks, then they presented the fake certs and we took photos. :D

after that was mass games, and today was mainly water bomb. [i'm still extremely depressed over the fact that i missed the games yesterday.] our whole group took of our shoes and went barefooted :D and then we played odd against even. it was quite fun, defending and attacking and throwing water bombs at random people. i threw 2 at mx :D yay. [he claimed that he let me throw it at him -_- which sort of ruined my happy mood.] and the whole thing was quite fun. even though i was stoning sometimes because i didnt want to get wet and there werent any water boms available. ended with a draw. washed our feet and gathered around to take a super huge group photo, then the OTs surprised us by tossing water bombs behind. =.= like okaaay. haha but its quite common. thats what happened in this year's sec 3 camp at st john's island too. we were all sitting a little into the sea and listening to the instructors, and then after the debrief, they just splashed a lot of seawater right at us. which made us pretty pissed too. anyway, my pants got quite wet with those sudden water bombs and i was pissed. haha.

okay then we went back to the classroom and our group sat around eating junk food and doing reflections while drying off. reflections were quite meaningful, i think. yeah. this is the first time i actually reflected out loud in a camp or whatever event. normally you just write it down, or just the facilitators reflect. but this time everyone got a chance, and yeah i think it was quite meaningful. anyway, by the time we were done, we were one of the last groups to leave the classrooms and it was quite dark outside. went over to the sports complex or whatever in their school and washed up. [lucky i wasnt the person who took the longest :D] then we took a bus to some shopping centre not far away and ate at macs there. managed to sit at this table for 10 people. there were 9 of us [6 of us plus 3 facils, since 3 of our members werent there] so it was enough. our dinner was quite long and we talked quite a lot. the mood was still super high. i think our group was quite high these 2 days. :D and then we finally left macs at 9.30pm and headed for the bus stop. thought my bus would take very long to come and i'd have to wait the longest, but then my bus came first [and i didnt know until wei liat said something like 'oh what bus is that ah? 961. ' and i was like stoning for a few seconds before my brain managed to absorb it.] and i had to run for it. too bad couldnt stay longer to chat with the rest. but haha nevermind. we can always meet up again :D

in conclusion, i think that see2 has been quite meaningful because our group not only managed to come up with a foolproof proposal, but we managed to interact with each other and form this very close bond between ourselves too. i shan't go on with long winded sentences about how bonded we are or mushy sentences about how much i love my group, so all i'm going to say right now is [and its the truth]... I'M ALREADY STARTING TO MISS MY GROUP!!! seriously.



if you're wondering how does all this = cutting short the details, it is already. if i wanted to add in the details [which are extremely important to me but probably not to you], i would be typing every line spoken by a member of our group. hahaha. yeah so thats all. came home around 10.20pm and got scolded, then went to shower and didnt really get scolded much after that. okay gtg sleep now goodnight.

well, my headache cleared up when i woke up today, although there were still signs of it. yesterday night, i had msn discussion with my see2 group on the proposal that we have to finish and present by tmr. i dont think i contributed much to my group on the first day, which is yesterday. sorry. [i am shy.] i think i contributed more today lah. yeah. personal opinion. cos yesterday i was damn quiet and all, but today was more open and friendly i guess. so today was a better day for me lor.

woke up half an hour later than i wanted to, around 6.10am. was supposed to meet mx under his block at 6.30am. lol. rushed lor. in the end, i told him i might be 5 mins late, then he said meet at the bus stop =.= so yeah. what was interesting was the fact that i got to the bus stop earlier than him. :D yay. super long and boring bus ride as usual. sian. and mx slept through almost the entire journy -_- and i thought that maybe i wouldnt be so sian if i went to hwachong with mx. turns out that i was even more sian. and then we reached there quite early. around 7.20am. he was supposed to reach by 7.30am. after we walked into the gate, houyin and chunkiat were behind, and houyin crept up on mx. super lame lah. i was like =.=" yeah. and quite cool that everyone came so early, when we said to come at 8am. but whatever. my group rocks :D yeah then ray yan was already there and stoning outside since the classroom door was locked. oh well. at least houyin could open the door since its his classroom.

throughout the whole day today, i think we were better off than yesterday, got stuff done and worked better together too. although i'm sorry to my group that i just sat there doing nothing much :/ its sort of a habit. anyway, we stayed in the classroom for almost the whole day, working on the proposal and presentation, and slacking too. quite fun today, even though we had to do proposal. maybe its cos our group is more bonded already? :D and today's lunch was nice. not that yesterday's wasnt. but today's one is nicer. i wonder what the OTs do... probably slack most of the time, since they hardly need to do anything today. thats what mx said. thats sad. but then he's dismissed damn late. so it makes up for the slack part, i guess? the whole discussion thing was just super fun even though we slacked and played and digressed a lot. :D but thats the point, right? thats why its fun. and. we have group cheer :D hahaha. and i think our group is better off than the other groups who have to work on improving their proposals and all. we wanted to make our proposal idiot-proof. and our group has really funny people who make everyone laugh, so thats cool too.

and then i had to go off earlier, at 4pm. D: was damn sad, cos i would be missing the mass games, which were definitely fun. T_T nevermind. tmr, i shall ask the rest what happened. went off around 4.10pm and took houyin's physics books home. haha he was giving away his textbooks for free. social studies, chem, physics. i grabbed both his physics textbook and key notes book. :D yay. haha i think hazwani and wei liat grabbed his books too. anyway, now i have more materials to self-study physics. great. although i wanted to grab the chem textbook too. whats the difference between the textbooks (science) matters and (science) insight? hmm. i'll find out after going through both. anyway, was pretty depressed that i had to leave earlier. and the thought of leaving earlier just for violin lesson was hardly any comfort. was half-asleep on the bus ride back. came home and showered, then practised violin for one whole hour. then my mum forced me to gulp down my dinner in 10mins and go for violin lesson after that. dinner was nice but there wasnt much time to enjoy it lah. umm. violin lesson was okay today. better than last week when i got scolded by teacher. shall practise more often after cca camp i guess.

i need to bring a lot of stuff to hwachong tmr T_T investiture uniform [which consists of shoes too] plus some dark coloured tshirt for water games tmr. hope they're fun. i want tomorrow to be a great day. but after i come home, i need to start packing for cca camp on friday. sian. haha anyway, here's our group cheer:

darryl! chiobu!
houyin! chiobu!
who's the real chiobu? hazwani!

haha its super funny :D houyin started it since he kept calling darryl a chiobu and made us do 'darryl! chiobu!' for a cheer. then, today, darryl had to move to another group for a while to be their facil, cos their facil had to leave or something. without darryl, our group started the 'houyin! chiobu!' thing. hahaha. he was supposed to be a temporary replacement of some sort. :D hahaha then we finally came up with this cheer. yepp. i think its very funny. the guys being called chiobu. lololol. okay i'm evil. but its funny! haha okay i need to go sleep now. oh yah i was playing with facebook just now. went back to it after so long and had this whole pile of notifications. yeah i need to go sleep. before my mum refuses to wake me up in the morning. and thanks to my dad who taught me how to tie ties just now :D the tie's part of the investiture uniform that i have to wear tmr. ties are cool :D okay okay goodnight! (:

[tag reply]

jessica: haha sorry about the tagboard. and why cannot? :D



i shall my post short today, since i need to go to sleep soon. have a really bad headache [yes, again. the one at the back of my head] and i'm just tired out. oh by the way, did i mention that me being giddy has happened quite often the past few weeks? i have no idea why. its like a few seconds of dizziness, once every few days. i can feel myself getting weaker. i don't know why. headaches getting more often too, i think. there must be something wrong with me.

yesterday was nothing much so i'll skip that. mainly just went to school for a while, then came home and slacked the whole day.

today was first day of see2. different from what i expected, i guess. but still fun and quite enriching, i think. my group [group 1 :D] spent the earlier part of the morning breaking the ice, then we started on the problems we had in cca and stuff. after lunch, we became a bit more sian and didn't manage to discuss much, which caused a need to rush our draft proposal during the later part of the day. and houyin is one of my group facilitators. that was kind of unexpected. and we're the only group with 3 facs :D cool. the most fun part was probably the mass games at the end of the day, which were really fun to play. both the 'table soccer' and bursting the balloons. i think the 'table soccer' game was really quite innovative. thumbs up to whoever suggested that. bursting the balloons was not very new to me [as in, i heard before lah] but it was just as fun. except for the fact that mx kept creeping up on me and trying to burst my balloons. and i didnt get a chance to burst his disgusting pink one. [plus, it had this weird face on it.] oh well. at least i owned him in badminton, right? [hahaha. okay random.] after mass games, my group headed back to the classroom [which is apparently houyin's classroom] and wrapped up on stuff. got everyone's emails and decided to meet at 8am instead of 8.30am tmr to finish up our proposal. overall, the whole day was quite fun, albeit a few discussions which i think didnt go that well. yepp. hope it'll be okay tmr. kinda sad because i'll probably be missing mass games tmr. -curses- all because of my dumb violin lesson. -swears-

anyway, my headache's killing me. [yes, i never knew headaches could kill.] it feels like something is trying to penetrate through my skull. off to sleep before i die or something. bye and goodnight.

[tag reply]

kc: how is that a problem? and i doubt i spent any longer than that.



went out to meet caroline and wenyi today. was kinda late :/ and i wasnt at the right place either, so we had to walk through the train finding for each other. oops. sorry!!! we went to plaza sing and ate lunch at the food court there. i didnt finish mine :/ haha but they didnt finish theirs too. although i think i wasted more food than them. anyway, we went to spotlight after lunch to buy cca stuff. then to carrefour and then daiso. i think that was the first time i went to daiso. it was damn cool in there lah. (: i like the fact that everything there was 2 bucks. at first, i couldnt get used to it, so when they asked me to choose one item out of two nice ones, i kept asking them, 'how much is that?' haha i dont think it was a surprise that they sort of rolled their eyes at me. hahaha. but anyway, shopping with them is super fun :D i liked the whole trip. although wenyi got a stomachache later on, probably because of lunch. that was kinda sad. then me and caroline spent a lot of time inside this shop which sold cds and vcds and dvds. :D or was it just me? oh well. i was looking through all the dramas and i found nice new ones to watch :D yay. caroline had to drag me out of the shop after a super long time in there. then we went to see the fishes in the opposite place. and then wenyi was finally out of the toilet and we went over to her house.

at wenyi's house, we did cca stuff mainly. halfway through, wenyi and i went out [leaving caroline behind] to the market near wenyi's house and took about 20 - 30mins to buy a lot of stuff from there. my money flew away~ T_T and then when we came back, caroline was still not done with whatever she was doing when we left. =.= oh and i borrowed caroline's investiture uniform, except the blouse, and it was in this large bag. then i borrowed court shoes from wenyi because i didnt have any [i dont wear them =.=] and there was another bag. oh and if you're wondering, the investiture uniform is for see2. haiz. so troublesome lah. and then i had to bring home some cca stuff too, since wenyi couldnt possibly carry everything to the camp, and there was this super large bag too. in the end, when i went home, i was carrying three bags and it looked like i was going home from a day of shopping. lol. even caroline and wenyi said so. and the bags were so bulky! if only i had really gone shopping. haiz.

when i got home, it was about 7.30pm and my mum didn't nag a lot, surprisingly. but she started when she realised that see2 would probably cause me to miss my violin lesson and complained a lot about that. even after i told her that i would earlier and go for my lesson. that's so unreasonable of her. i told her i could go, and she continued complaining about how bad it was to miss my super-expensive violin lesson. gahh whatever lah. i think she just doesnt want me to go for see2 because she feels it is extra and i can actually give it a miss and wearing investiture uniform for see2 is so troublesome. well it is troublesome, but i still want to go. and she thinks that making me handwash my own clothes will stop me from going out so much. yeah right. as if. i'd still go out whenever i want to. this tiny setback wouldnt make any difference.

feeling kind of sleepy now. i think i'm getting more tired and bored earlier these few days. don't feel much like watching any videos. i would just die if i did, since i would get addicted and crave for it a lot, if i did watch any now. and i dont have time to crave for it. i have to get to sleep soon. maybe in an hour's time. thats not enough time for watching videos. maybe i should read my book instead? but my book is for reading on the bus to hci. -sigh- now what? off to find something to do. seeya!



ah! i know! since i'm bored to death, i'll do something fun. i shall list down 5 things that i really want to do :D something like 5 wishes, i guess? yeah. some are possible, some quite impossible. they might be weird, but they're really 5 of my most wanted wishes. (:
1) capture a photo of lightning.
2) swim with a dolphin.
3) transform into a wolf.
4) learn everything there is to know in the world.
5) witness what happens after my death. [which also means something like living in this world after i die.]

[tag reply]

kc: haha yeah. but so what? i found yours much much earlier =P



i am sooo bored. my day was totally wasted on unnecessary stuff. like waiting and waiting and waiting. today is definitely not my day. woke up around 9am+ [considered quite early for me =.=] and then went out with my mum and jan. had to go bank for a while, then buy shares, and then me and jan went to eat lunch. our mum brought us to this coffee shop and ordered porridge for us and disturbed us a lot, before finally going to the polyclinic. she wanted to get a letter to go to the hospital, since her leg was hurting quite badly. anyway, me and jan were quite crappy lah, arguing about stupid stuff and trying to sound logical and all. and i'm supposedly a literature student since i'm definitely not a science student like him. =.= i suppose that's what he concludes anyway. after lunch, jan went off first since he finished first, and then later on i went to buy the parking coupon for my dad's bike. waited for one whole hour! and in the end, realised that it wasn't due yet. plus, can actually use the sam machine. well, i didnt know because my mum didn't tell me and told me to queue up instead. wtf. was quite pissed afterwards. when i told my dad, he said that he knows that he can use the machine, but my mum insisted on queuing up. wth?! hellooo does anyone want to explain to me how in the world is this even logical? there's a machine and you're not using it and instead queuing for one hour?! wtf.

after i got home, i was still reading 'the whale rider' from before that when i was queuing. finished reading it pretty fast, and it was quite interesting. i liked it a lot because there were whales involved, and this little girl who can actually communicate with them. isn't that awesome? :D whales are cool. but then i felt that the book was missing a lot about the actual communication between the human and the whale. there wasn't much about that, sadly. it was mostly just about human relationships, which i don't really like. human-animal relationships are more interesting. and i didn't like the fact that the book was written in the uncle's point of view either. he feels really extra. i think i would have liked it if the book was written in the girl's point of view. then we'd know what she was thinking or feeling or whatever. so yeah, its a pretty cool plot and all, but i didnt like some parts.

in the evening, i turned on the laptop and talked to kc on msn. was pretty bored and going to blog soon. then, my mum said that someone would probably have to follow her to the hospital. -groans- so i went in the end. SIAN. took taxi there, which was quite ok. faster mahh. saw a rainbow when the taxi stopped at this road junction and was pretty amazed. that brightened up my day. and kc was smsing me so i wasnt feeling that bored lor. thanks kc, btw :D and i brought my storybook too, anyway. 'darkness be my friend' :D its the fourth book of the 'tomorrow when the war began' series. read it while waiting.

we went to tan tock seng hospital and it was pretty interesting. didnt see any extremely serious cases though, sadly. :/ it would have been cool to see one. umm but i did see a lot of civil defence people. and a few cases where the patients were brought in my ambulance or something. but not very serious lah. the whole place was pretty large and i cant believe that my mum actually worked there but she couldnt recognise the place at all. she said she didnt work in the emergency or A&E section. okaaay. whatever. i still cant imagine her as a nurse. she cant even answer simple questions and starts telling this super long story about what happen very long ago. =.=" really cant imagine. everytime the doctor or nurse asked her a question, her story would start. bleah. i felt like walking off. super paiseh standing there. the emergency section of the hospital was quite small though. could find my way around easily. but the whole hospital is :/ nope. i'm definitely a goner. left home around 6pm+ and reached around 7pm. i thought it would take about an hour or so, estimating until 8pm, and taking around 1 hour to go home, 9pm. the actual time i reached home: 11.40pm. wtf. it was a damn long wait there. -sigh-

after my mum was finally released from the hospital, we went to collect her medicine and went home. there was a 7-11 outside the underpass to the mrt, so i went to buy instant noodles from there. ate on one of the benches outside the shop. yum. instant noodles are delicious. my mum didn't buy anything there, but she ate some chocolate bun while in the hospital, so i guess she's alright. not my problem she refused when i offered to make the instant noodles for her too, anyway.

my mum thought she would be admitted to hospital, so she brought some of her stuff and all. and briefed me a lot about what i must do when she's not at home. =.=" i thought she would be admitted too. then i could do things the way i wanted. like using the washing machine instead of handwashing clothes. i was kind of looking forward to her staying in the hospital and me having the house to myself. sort of, anyway. and not having anyone to nag at me for quite some time. although i didnt know that you had to do so many things everyday. but in the end, she wasn't admitted, so she had to come home and i was really quite depressed when i heard that. -sigh-

i got home at 11.40pm and by the time i was done showering, it was 12am. how demoralising. i totally wasted my whole day today. waiting for everything. the parking coupons and the hospital trip, mainly. -yawn- THIS SUCKS. my day just FLEW away like that! and my handphone battery started running extremely low sometime around 10.30pm. which sucked too. my handphone is giving me huge problems like showing it has full battery when it doesn't and showing me 1/3 battery when its 2/3. that is soo not fun. anyway, i'm getting really sleepy so i think i'll go and sleep. will be meeting caroline and wenyi tmr to get cca camp stuff, so i'm not allowed to wake up that late. haiz.

note: today = 22nd november 2008

i know this is being evil and like 幸灾乐祸. but then, its not like i can help it. i just find it funny. jan is too pitiful. he actually called up one of his friends and i heard him asking 'hey, is the class having some kind of party without telling me?' and then after a while 'are you sure? because i saw the noticeboard saying something about having a party... and it was supposed to be today...' and yeah even though i don't believe in revenge or whatever, but it sort of feels like payback time for him. and i'm being totally serious here. i said before that i have a rule to not hate anyone. the only people that i can't stop myself from hating are jan and myself. so there.

i am tireddd. watched eight below just now. didnt have time to watch the other movie. or rather, didn't really feel like it. i want to watch my videos now, and decided on anime. but then i'm afraid that i will get addicted [once again] and stay up very late watching it. my dad wants me to go out with my mum tmr to do some stuff. i don't want to go, because i have no idea why i need to go when i don't know anything about what my mum has to do. ah well. go then go lor.

might be going out to buy cca camp stuff on sunday. maybe with wenyi and caroline, not too sure. then i think i have to go borrow the investiture uniform on monday. then tue to thur is see2, fri to sat is cca camp, and sunday is rest day. and then... it's december already. haiz... have some plans in december too... 1st december will probably be going arcade :D and then sometime later, maybe east coast park, since we cancelled it that day. my mum's going to kill me with her nagging. i told her that once december comes, i'll stop going out and start studying. [what did i do... that's impossible.] i still have to go out in december, though. arcade, east coast, library, shopping, exercise... there's still so many things to do. this sucks. i like to tell people 'i have all the time in the world', and i'd really like to believe that. besides, i've always felt that way. but somehow, right now, it suddenly feels as if i don't. i don't have much time left. no more time for me to waste. so maybe i should stop wasting it. time, be my best friend, alright? work with me and let's move forward together. i don't want to stay behind.

two posts in a day because of how bored i am and how i have no idea what i should do. people are getting on my nerves. i think i'm getting pissed. haiz.

i felt like some 5-in-1 person today. was supposed to go to school and collect my books, but ended up doing a lot of other things to. 1) post a letter for jan. 2) pay violin fees. 3) collect ic. 4) hand up chem spa file & homework. 5) collect school books. there were too many things to do so i had to record them down. in case i miss out any. ^^'' haha shows that my memory is bad, i guess? but i dont usually go out and do so many stuff all at once, so yeah. i thought they would take quite long, but everything proved to be quite easy and fast. like i thought i'd take a long time to find the letterbox or i have to wait a long time before i can collect my ic or find the books i ordered. but everything was really fast. so, i guess i can say that the people i met with today are all quite efficient lor. yeah. (: and i'm efficient too :D haha okay whatever.

i'm bored now. i want to do a lot of things now. but for once i dont feel like watching my videos. because no nice videos for now ^^'' haha actually have but i no mood to watch those. thus, i shall watch movies! :D i haven't watched 2 out of the 3 dvds that i borrowed from crystal yet, so i think i'll watch both today (: my lunch is instant noodles again today =.= because jan went out to the library and i thought he was going to buy lunch for me so i didnt eat anything before i came home. but then i wouldnt eat lunch outside on my own anyway. too boring. so, shall eat my noodles while watching movies :D bye!

[tag replies]

MX: ouch, that's kinda harsh.

ttw: oh okay. hmm but i think he would still have lost even without any help? lol.



yesterday's violin lesson was... crap. got scolded quite badly by my teacher. he said i wasnt paying attention and that i was terrible and etc. he was scolding me in chinese and i had no idea why. he usually scolds in english, i think? but anyway, i was quite annoyed and pissed. but then i was wondering if i was paying attention. its true that my mind was off somewhere else, but it wasnt my fault that i really cant tell if i'm playing the right note or not. i really dont know what the correct note sounds like. and if i have no idea what the correct note sounds like, how do you expect me to get it right? if there's something i hate about violin, i guess its hearing the notes to see if i'm playing it correct. because i dont know how to do that. i wonder if i should blame it on bad hearing, or just lack of concentration. but i dont see how concentration can help you to hear the note right. even if you're not concentrating, you should know whether the note is right or wrong. and i'm quite sure i dont have bad hearing. so there. i have no idea where my mistake is. happy?

because of my violin lesson, i was quite pissed on the way home. and when my mum opened the door and saw my face, [it was just a stone face] she said something like 'not happy then go back to your school' and then i got even more pissed but i didnt show it. the best way to get her to stop nagging is to look normal - not happy, not sad, not angry. just normal. so i made this half innocent half tired kind of look but still looking sort of normal, and she stopped nagging :DDD yay. anyway, i played audi at night :D at first i wanted to play with mj and get him to stop bugging me about his ice cream. but then i got darice to come and play with me too. after that mj went off, so i played with darice until jac came online :D then we 3 played and then wanyee came online too :DDD so 4 of us were playing audi tgt. the whole night was super fun besides the lagging part. and even though i badly wanted to watch my videos at first. but after that didnt really have much time since it was so late at night already, so i decided to just continue playing audi until i had to go to sleep :D



woke up kinda late again today =.= but not that bad. around 12.30pm. wanted to just eat instant noodles for lunch, [lazy to cook more stuff] but then my dad was against it because it was unhealthy and stuff [he just came back around 11am i think] so he 'taught' me how to cook something more healthy. erm. 'taught' because even though he wanted to teach me, he did most of the stuff on his own and i just watched. so basically, he sort of cooked lunch for me :D which i really really appreciate. and yes, i did learn something from that. he cooked this soup with instant noodles, but the soup was quite nutritious since it contained egg, carrot, cabbage, broccoli, tomato, mushroom, tiny dried shrimps and dried ikan bilis. basically he just dug out whatever was in the refrigerator and threw it into the soup. but it turned out quite nice (: and definitely better than just eating instant noodles alone. so thanks to my dad for lunch :D my dad still rocks. (: after my lunch was cooked, he had to go to work liao. but he told me to read up on a few shares that he wanted to buy before he went =.= and he said that he'll ask me about them when he gets home -_- damn. oh well. i suppose i should be guai and read, since he cooked lunch for me. [but then its so boring! D: -sigh-]

planning to watch my videos again today. and i suddenly have a craving to play pokemon and neopets. no idea why. T_T i dont want to read up on the shares or do nanowrimo or practise violin or plan for cca camp or finish up my chem worksheets before i go to school and hand them up tomorrow. even though im supposed to do all of that. damn it. i am such a slacker. see you around, i'm off to slack.

[tag replies]
WHOA. i think this is the first time i see so many tags from different people in like. 2 days? yeah. haha

Darice: umm. not really but sort of? haha. its very close to my neighbourhood? yeah. something like that.

crystal: LOL! i dont think thats something to be very proud of? haha.

MRT: haha yepp :D because i was really pissed? haha. and my super long sentence rocks, right? :D

wanjane: haha yes, you should be excited! :D and what you want me to say? thanks for being so truthful? hahaha. and yes i know i'm nice :D --> being ego.

ttw: o.O whoa how did you get to my blog? haha nevermind its okay lah. i can just hog the court longer the next time we play :D -evil grin-

MX: yes he is! =x haha. hmm does that include playing dota too? but for badminton he sort of improved later on. so... still okay lah. i guess? haha.



i woke up at... an amazing 2.30pm today. and i slept at 1.30am leh. so that was 13 hours! :O whoa. haha i think this is my best record so far. dont think i've woken up any later than 2.30pm. and definitely never sleep for 13 hours straight so far. only 12 hours max. :D i found out what i'm good at. sleeping. :DDD hahaha.

anyway, my fourth finger on my left hand has been hurting since yesterday. i dunno why. going to practise violin later and i'm wondering if i can play with my finger hurting so much :/ hope i still can. have violin lesson later leh! if cannot play then die already.

watched videos again today. i think i'm totally giving up on nanowrimo. NOOO. tell me this isnt happening. and i thought i could finish it... i suck. where did all my confidence and determination disappear to? but anyway, only managed to watch one episode of about one hour, since i woke up so late =.= and i need to save some time to practise violin. didnt go to east coast after all today. shifted it to another day, i think. a bit sad but happy too lah, since i'll have time to practise violin and no need to rush to go home and all. yepp. going back to school on friday and my chem teacher called me to remind me to hand up my chem spa file and worksheets by this week =.= luckily, i'm going to school this friday to collect my books, so can 顺便 go and hand up. nothing much today [cos i woke up so late] and jan didnt buy lunch so i just skipped it. ate some junk food [kueh, chocolate cake, chocolate, drink milo] to make up for it. shall go practise violin now. [please let me be able to play violin even with this injured finger which i have no idea how i injured] see you around! :D

i am damn pissed at myself right now but then its my own fault that i'm making myself pissed so damn it and i have no idea what to do because i'm unable to get myself to stop getting myself pissed and this really sucks because i just cant seem to be able to do anything properly or with a hundred percent concentration but instead keep slacking and avoid the work. DAMN IT. if i said that i want to commit suicide right now, would you believe me? probably not. because i dont believe myself either. but right now the angry part of me just feels like KILLING the super slack me. DAMN. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? WHAT THE HELL IS MY PROBLEM? CANT I JUST BE LIKE ANY OTHER NORMAL PERSON WHO WORKS HARD TO ACHIEVE THEIR GOALS? WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF! -pissed-

sorry, just ranting. but then again i am really angry right now and in a bad mood. at myself, yes. and i really hate myself right now. the only people that i hate is limited to myself and jan. so dont worry, no one else got me into this. anyway, i slapped myself twice on both sides and it hurt but it wouldnt work. i know what i need. i need someone or something to just wake me up from this dream cum nightmare. i cant cry because crying doesnt help. but i'm not doing anything either, thats why i'm so angry. i know i can do something about this but i just refuse to. how could i? how is this possible? how can one characteristic of mine be so strong suddenly and take control over me? this isnt right. i'm letting it take control, when i can control it. why am i not controlling it? because i'm scared. afraid of taking up that heavy pressure and burden when i work hard. doesn't everyone else do that? how can i let myself lose to everyone else in this world? impossible.

i shall make it a rule never to blame others when its actually my fault. not ever again. nor to vent my anger on others any longer. its not their fault. i have no right at all to blame them or to vent my anger on them. sorry to whoever i've blamed wrongly previously. the fault isnt anyone's. its my own.



i woke up sort of late today :/ was supposed to meet mx downstairs my block, but i was kinda late... oops? but hey it was max 5 mins late only lor. anyway, mx and guangyan were both there, and they were at the other lift, so yeah. then we went the long way to the stadium because i was supposed to meet crystal at the road between the stadium and her house. but then both of them cut across the grass so i had to ask crystal to cross the road and walk in. :/ SORRY. to everyone.

when me and crystal went inside, mj and tingwei were already playing. anyway, we had loads of fun playing badminton both singles and doubles and we did this competition thing where tingwei won. i think everyone there was quite pro, especially tingwei, mj and mx. wasnt too satisfied at my playing today because it felt as if i didnt use enough strength to hit the shuttlecock. damn. the only thing i was quite happy about was that i played against mx and won :D i doubt i'll be able to win mj or tingwei for a long time. lost to both of them leh. umm but then guangyan managed to win mj later on, so maybe i have a chance of winning mj. yay :D [haha because guangyan is kinda noob =x] you didnt hear anything hor! :D haha no lah. the starting he was, but after that he really improved a lot. i think he just needed some warm up or something? yeah and i realised that i played singles with everyone except guangyan. hmm. wonder if i'll win him? should be lah. haha. :D anyway, the whole thing was just super fun and funny and got me in high spirits :D even though me and crystal hardly played much... grrr... because the guys were hogging the court... -pissed- oh wait. or was that just my imagination? okay whatever. then crystal left about 10 mins earlier because she had to go for cca after that. we played from 9am - 11am.

after that, we packed up and walked home. sort of, anyway. tingwei went home. then the rest of us went to mx's house. and mj was being damn sick. =.= anyway he went because he was waiting for his gf, i have no idea why guangyan went, and i went because i didnt want to bore to death at home by going back so early :D then they played dota until about 11.45am and left for the mrt stn or something. mj to meet his gf, mx to go cwp, and guangyan i dunno. home i guess? haha yeah then i went home lor.

my dad was at home :D but he went out not long after i came back D: spent my time watching videos. anime this time. found new series to watch (: just finished watching this super nice series which totally inspired me to study hard, but then, as you can see, one of my characteristics is being so slack that nothing can inspire me to move. so, back to videos for me after i'm done with this post. :D and my leg muscles are sore and aching, but it feels good lah. and anyway my muscles have been aching ever since saturday. and i think i've given up on nanowrimo -curses- but then you never know. i might start on it tomorrow or something. [unlikely] but i shan't blame anyone because its my own fault. sorry wanjane for blaming you :/ but now it really feels like homework to me. this novel is like the homework that i started on, then refused to continue because i was bored of it. did i mention that i get bored of things easily? i think i did. crystal said i had this 一分钟热情. and it sort of makes sense. give me something, i'll be like :O and O.O whoa when i first see it, but after a while i'll just dump it aside. maybe thats why my mum is so against me buying random stuff that i like :/ whoops? hahaha.



你们不知道, 我是多么的想你们, 希望能看到你们.
所以, 就算你们不记得我, 我也会尽我的全力用功地学习.
我的目标只有一个, 那就是再一次和你们在一起.

i think i'm on some sports spree :O ever since saturday.
15 nov, sat: play badminton & basketball with jac and her bro
16 nov, sun: rest! :D [from all the sore and aching muscles since i havent exercised in a long time.]
17 nov, mon: jog in the morning [wanted to jog on sunday but couldnt wake up early enough =.=]
18 nov, tues: play badminton with fuchun friends, which also refers to mx, mj, crystal, tingwei they all.
19 nov, wed: go east coast with wanyee, jac and jessica, so i will probably be cycling.

hahaha :D whee. umm. but then i'll be super slack for about one and a half weeks after that?
20 nov, thur: might be going shopping.
21 nov, fri: going to school to get my books and ic :D
22 - 24 nov, sat - mon: i dunno.
25 - 27 nov, tue - thur: see2 at hwachong. [gahh the investiture uniform thing is ANNOYING.]
28 - 29 nov, fri - sat: cca camp in school :D

thats my schedule so far. after that is freeee :D um. besides the fact that i still have to complete nanowrimo. DAMN.



okay so today is 17 NOVEMBER :DDD which also means
HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY MUNI!!! <3
and
HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY LEON!!! :D
hope muni got my sms. :/ i haven't met her in a long long time. oh haha leon certainly did. too bad he has to go to school today =P hahaha. well, i had to go to school on my birthday too! anddd. i think i'm super high because of other people's birthdays. =.= haha oh well. can't help it. HAPPY FOR THEM MAHH. :D

as i mentioned earlier, yeah i went to jog today. jogged about 5 rounds? [if you include jogging to the stadium too :D] and walked about 2 rounds. [including walking home :D] hahaha i'm such a cheater. okay lah the actual was jogging about 4 and a half rounds and walking 1 and a half rounds. 6 rounds total. in the stadium. BUT. you must count the jogging to the stadium and walking back too okay! :D

yeah and then i got a bad headache after jogging for the first 3 rounds or so :/ and it was super bad because it felt like there was something against my skull or something. damn. what the hell is wrong with me? i hate getting headaches. but luckily this time wasnt the back-of-the-head headache (: if not i would just DIE. umm it went off after i finished jogging and came home and rested for about 20 - 30 mins. not so bad la. (: but then these few days [like yesterday when playing audi], sometimes i'll just get very dizzy [lucky i was sitting on the chair!] and be unclear of directions and just feel like closing my eyes and steadying myself. [but i was unable to do that, since i was playing audi and if i closed my eyes, i would miss!] hmm. I REALLY WONDER WHATS WRONG WITH ME. DAMN. maybe i should drink more water. OH OMG I REALISED THAT I HAVENT DRANK A SIP OF WATER EVER SINCE I CAME BACK FROM JOGGING. crap =.= brb.

and yeah my muscles have been aching ever since saturday night and that is really annoying but it feels good in a way. as i think i said a very long time ago, it sort of tells me that i am not very fit so i must exercise more :D but after jogging today, they were hurting worse and i could hardly walk up or down stairs. i wasnt too sure why. and then i realised that I HADN'T STRETCHED BEFORE I WENT JOGGING. -_- i actually forgot to stretch! can you believe that? ugh. my brain is sooo not working properly these few days.



oh. did i mention that my novel is KILLING ME? at first i really looked forward to it, but now i'm just dreading it like how i dread doing homework and studying. NOOO. i must be POSITIVE. then i can complete it. BUT. its sort of a mistake to do it this year i think. because it lasts for the whole month of november, but i only started after nov 5. because i had chinese o levels on nov 5 and i was sort of studying? yeah. so i have like. 5 days less. and i have rush like crazy now. target: at least 3k a day. but right now, since i slacked so much, im supposed to do 4k or 5k a day. like WTF? crappp. all because of stupid chinese o levels which was on 5th nov. DAMN. i dont think i can finish it by 30th november, what with chinese o levels taking up the first 5 days, see2 taking up 3 days, and cca camp taking up about 1 and a half days. thats like. almost 10 days gone. that makes a whole lot of difference. if i do 2k everyday, 10 days will be equivalent to 20k of words. 20K. EXCUSE ME. THATS 2/5 OF THE ENTIRE 50K. gahh. life sucks. no wait. life rocks. i dunno. life rocks but doing nanowrimo with a lot of busy days in the month makes life suck. sort of.



i think i'm quite fully booked from now till end of november. which is. uh. good? haha. i dunno. i think its good in a way, because i have stuff to do and dont just sit at home and rot. but then its bad because i'll be super tired and holidays are for resting! oh. and i realised why im so terrified of getting home late and getting scolded by my mum. i found out that getting home late was one of the things that i seem to have trouble with. like, whenever my friends ask me if i can go out, i'll ask 'until what time?' yeahh so basically, i found out that, i'm not really scared of getting scolded by my mum when i get home late. i'm just scared of going home when my mum is at home. because it really dampens my high spirits when i get home feeling happy with myself, and she starts nagging and i feel annoyed and irritated all over again. *&#@%!# and yes i'm bloody pissed by the fact that i actually get annoyed by her. she seems to have this thing against me going out. i have no idea whats her problem. she keeps saying that i always go out and never help out at home, but she should know very clearly that even if i stay at home, i wont help out either. either she's out to make me miserable, or just not smart enough to understand that. and like DAMN IT she has no idea how annoying her nagging can be.



now. for random stuff. uhh. the see2 thing at hwachong requires us to wear investiture uniform on the 3rd/ last day. like WHATTT. that is like soooo troublesome. -sigh- cos i need to go and borrow the uniform. oh and wanjane is like sooo dead lah. she said i was cynical! hurr. i'm not okay! oh wait. am i? haha hmm yeah i think i am. but still, you're not supposed to say it! and yeah okay since she tagged me i shall post the quiz here AGAIN. =.= shall just post the first few questions, since the rest are like =.= i did before? yeah.

1) the last person who tagged you is:
liew wan jane.

2) your relationship with him/her is:
she's my senior and good friend :D

3) your impressions on him/her is:
weird, random, funny, smart, hyper, emo, loud, noisy, slack.

4) the most memorable thing he/she had done for you:
a lot lehh. umm. basically, cheer me up when i'm down and tell me to slack and make me damn hyper and make me start laughing when i talk to her

5) the most memorable thing he/she said to you:
also a lot. right now, all i can remember are "jiayou" and "i can throw you from my house" and "YOU! YOU GO AND DIE LAH! YOU JUMP DOWN FROM THERE NOW!" [the last one isnt exact, but yeah, 大概 lah. and i was in the school canteen at that point of time]

6) if he/she becomes your lover you will:
puke. haha okay no lah kidding. um. -cannot imagine- haha ummm. probably throw her out of her house before she can throw me out. :D

7) if he/she becomes your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be:
stop hanging up on me and being random like calling me to talk to me for 10 seconds only. and teach me more stuff. and stop being so busy all the time.

8) if he/she becomes your enemy , the reason will be:
she hung up on me! or she really threw me out of her house.

9) the most desired thing you wanna do for him/her now is:
haha um. i have something in mind but i shan't say =P because i'll really do it! :D

10) your overall impression on him/her is:
weird and random but fun.

11) how you think people around you feel about you:
[i answered this question before! haha okay nevermind.]
quiet? but noisy and lame if they're my good friends.

12) the character you love about yourself is:
nothing in particular. how my life rocks? :D but thats not a character :/ how i think my life rocks?

13) on the contrary, the character you hate about yourself is:
no courage to say/do stuff. timid and weak and not focused and always playing around.

14) the most ideal person you wanna be is:
no one in particular. myself, i guess. but a better myself. if that makes sense? yeah.



yepp. so i'm feeling super slack today and decided that I SHALL NOT CARE ABOUT NANOWRIMO TODAY AND WORST TO WORST I CAN DO IT LATER TONIGHT OR SOMETHING. damn. okay maybe i should stop being influenced by people. but actually, i dont think i am. like i was sort of influenced by wanjane to stop doing nanowrimo and relax. but i think that actually, deep down in my heart, i already had that i-want-to-give-up-on-this-bloody-thing attitude. i just didnt want to let it surface. so i use other excuses. i should stop doing that, really. anyway, i have decided to watch videos today :D so i'll be watching my very nice anime. and maybe i'll play audi later. its fun to play with my friends :D and sorry for the super long post! ^^'' just had a lot of things to say.



谢谢你做了我的好朋友.
因为如果没有你, 就不会有现在的我.
谢谢你帮过我做的一切.
那些小小的举动, 可能不算什么, 但对我而言, 是无代价的.
最后, 想告诉你, 你的友情, 我是绝对不会忘记的.
如果要我放弃我的生命来换你的命, 我一定会马上答应, 因为我已经把你当成我生命中不可缺少的一部分.

melissa wanted me to do this quiz thing, so yeah. =.=



1) the last person who tagged you is:
melissa-raye

2) your relationship with him/her is:
good friend :D

3) your impressions on him/her is:
super random and high and weird?

4) the most memorable thing he/she had done for you:
sent me a christmas card!

5) the most memorable thing he/she said to you:
erm. i cant remember any right now.

6) if he/she becomes your lover you will:
no comments.

7) if he/she becomes your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be:
no comments.

8) if he/she becomes your enemy , the reason will be:
she got higher results than me! and she purposely compared it to mine!

9) the most desired thing you wanna do for him/her now is:
come back to st nicks (:

10) your overall impression on him/her is:
WEIRD.

11) how you think people around you feel about you:
i'm not sure, but a lot of people tell me i'm lame.


12) the character you love about yourself is:
quite relaxed and laid back.

13) on the contrary, the character you hate about yourself is:
quite relaxed and laid back. [it makes sense, doesnt it?]

14) the most ideal person you wanna be is:
someone who is relaxed but can still accomplish her goals.

15) pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you :
[erms. i think this is dumb? but okay whatever here goes. all names are totally random and inspired from msn and my blog links and stuff :D]
1) wanjane
2) chewlin
3) muni
4) jac
5) wanyee
6) jessica
7) melissa-raye
8) crystal
9) yiinghuey
10) genin

16) who is no. 6 having a relationship with?
no one i think... oh wait. maybe with no. 4 :O

17) is no. 9 a male or a female?
female

18) if no. 7 and no. 10 are together , will it be a good thing?
er. not really.

19) how about no. 8 and 5 ?
dont think so.

20) what is no. 2 studying about?
lots of stuff?

21) when was the last time you had a chat with no. 3 ?
a very long time ago D:

22) what music band does no. 8 like?
um. westlife?

23) does no. 1 have any siblings?
yes. a brother.

24) will you woo no. 3 ?
no comments.

25) how bout no. 7?
no comments.

26) Is no. 10 single?
yes. [at least i think so.]

27) whats the surname of no. 5?
ang

28) whats the hobby of no. 4?
slacking i guess

29) do no. 5 and 9 get along?
yep

30) where is no. 2 studying at?
rgs

31) talk something casually about no.1?
she's super high right now

32) have you tried to develop feelings for no.8?
no comments.

33) where does no. 9 live at?
woodlands

34) what colour does no. 4 like?
purple!

35) are no. 1 and 5 best friends?
no, but their names are pretty similar.

36) does no. 7 like no. 2?
they don't know each other.

37) how do you get to know no. 2?
in primary school :D but i cant remember exactly.

38) does no. 1 have any pets?
nope dont think so.

39) is no. 7 the sexiest person in the world?
no comments.



okay now i've gotta rush and finish up 1.4k words before i sleep! :/ CRAP.

[tag replies]

GeNiN: whoa. OMG GENIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? lol. i have no idea how you managed to find my blog or if you'll ever come back here, but thanks a lot, yeah? (: even though i still think you're evil. [refer to 'mua ha ha xD']

suzume: yeah but. i dunno... sometimes i smile a lot too, then after that, when i start thinking about the people out there who are sad, i'll just feel that maybe i shouldn't have done that. something like. what if someone who was feeling sad actually saw me and that made them even more upset? yeah...



yesterday, we had prize-giving ceremony and then council investiture. umm. the former was sian diao and the latter was okay. because of the dances :D which were quite cool. then me, jac, jessica, elaine, and yiinghuey met up with melissa-raye, who came back to st nicks. haha when she saw me, she walked over with her arms wide open, like she was going to bear-hug me. my reaction: back off until she stopped walking over ^^'' haha. then after that we [me, jac, elaine, yiinghuey] went to eat lunch with her at macs. me and jac had went to macs during the break already actually, with wanyee and jessica. but oh well. haha. i ate 2 hashbrowns during the break leh :DD whee i love hashbrowns. anyway, melissa was super high and all, so yeah, it was quite fun lah. after that, me and jac went home together.

after i reached home, i totally slept like some lazy pig lah. D: i fell asleep after typing about a hundred words, and woke up about 1 or 2 hours later. then, i started typing again. this time, i made it to a few hundred, before i leaned back on my chair and fell asleep again. =.= this happened a few times, but the later few times were more often. i would sleep for about 10 or 20 minutes, wake up and type some stuff, then go back to sleep. it happened about 5 times, i think. i cant believe that i could be so tired. and im still wondering why. anyhow, i managed to do 3k words yesterday. not bad, right? aiming for 4k words today.



i woke up quite early today, around 7.30pm, because my mum called me up =.= and i was supposed to meet jac at 10.30am. wow. spent the few hours doing nothing, stoning, thinking, crapping, and typing a bit. a bit = 600 words only. -_- anyway, brought a badminton racket and basketball to meet jac and her brother at the stadium. they were cycling with bikes. but then all the courts were already in use, so we went to the court at the back of the hill. luckily, it was empty. :D played there for quite some time, from about 11am to 1pm, i think? and then there were some kids who wanted to play, so jac's brother played with them while me and jac sat on the benches watching. 1 vs 3 and 1 vs 4 and all the other interesting stuff. the kids went off after some time and we continued playing. we were getting quite tired around 12pm+ and finally decided to go to the basketball court. haha i rode jac's bike and she sat on her brother's bike. o.O i remember i used to sit on jan's bike when i was younger. it was damn bumpy, but quite fun lah. when he used to treat me nice and like a sister, that was. umm. anyway, we went to basketball court and it was empty [i didnt think it would be, since there were people playing there when i was walking to the stadium, but anyway, yay :D] and we played a while and then there were some kids [again!] who wanted to play with us. so we played with them 3 vs 3 this time. but then me and jac were just walking around doing nothing much most of the time. haha. her brother is damn pro can. both in badminton and basketball. haiz. i shall practise more often and be as pro as him next time. :D haha. yeah so after that, around 1.45pm i think, they finally [because they were supposed to go around 1.30pm but then jac's brother was still playing with the kiddos] had to go [their mum was waiting for them] and i went home. and jac i know you love cats, okay? -sigh- you should have seen how she rushed off to watch the cats so many times while we were playing badminton. and then when she saw that the mama shop sold kittens, she was staring at them for a longlonglong time. anyway, i think the whole thing was super fun :D and got me exercising, which i havent done in a long time. neither have i played badminton or basketball in a long time.

i think jac's brother is really like an elder brother lor. i dunno. he just seems like more of an elder brother. like he teaches you stuff and all. and like when i compare him to my brother, they have hardly anything in common. let's see. jac's brother talks to her. jan hardly talks to me. jac's brother goes out with her. when i go out with jan [which is maybe once a year?], we keep a distance away. jac's brother plays sports. jan stays at home all day long. jac's brother knows a lot about sports and teaches you stuff. jan knows a lot about science and is good at math but he refuses to teach me a single thing. [i think he's scared i'll be smarter than him. thats what my dad says.] can you spot the differences? okay now i'm just pissed.

anyway, after i came home, i spent about 1 hour in the toilet. hahahaha because i was very warm and sweaty so i just bathed with tap water and let the water run for a long long time. xD super shuang lor. yepp then after that i washed my clothes so that was time spent in the toilet too. which made up about 1 hour :D cool right? haha okay i'm weird. anyway, my mum just spent a whole lot of time using my laptop to find for a vacation place and tour or something. she wants to go somewhere for a holiday and she wants me to go with her. =.= i dont really like the idea but. have to go lor. and i was quite pissed with her because she used my laptop for so long. um. just now. now not very pissed liao and wow i started this post at like 3pm+, but i decided to change the time to 4pm+, but guess what time is it now? 10pm. hahaha yeah i know i rock. sorry lah because my mum used the laptop, then i typed, then i fell asleep [again :/], then i ate dinner, and other stuff. so yeah. i decided not to change the time, so it's still at 4pm+

oh yah. something interesting which happened today was that when i was playing badminton with jac and her brother, i got this sms from mj asking if i wanted to play badminton with him and mx and tingwei and shu li [uh i dunno her] and maybe crystal. i was like O.O wow whats with badminton today? but yeah anyway i'm going to play with them on tuesday :D they're booking court leh. :D and then i was asking him where were they playing, and then i was cycling on jac's bike to the basketball court at that time, so i accidentally smsed 'the usual basketball place is it?' LOL. about 5 seconds later i realised my mistake and smsed him again. ^^'' hahaha super paiseh. from badminton become basketball :/ oops? hahaha. but i still find it super amusing. ah well.



i feel crappish. D: and i dont like that. lazy and sleepy and eating a lot of junk and hardly exercising. TSK. i should stop doing all that. i want to go jogging tomorrow morning! :D hmm. do you think i can wake up early enough, before the sun rises? [after that will probably be super hot] hahaha i bet you're doubting my waking-up abilities. well, you should doubt it! because i doubt it too!!! lols :D [okay i know what my friends will say: very lame =.=] haha so anyway, yeah i think i'll TRY HARD to wake up early tomorrow and go jogging. if not then :/ maybe i just go jog in the evening? but i'll probably be feeling lazy by that time and refuse to go. haha whoops? i want to go shopping on monday. suddenly feel as if i need to buy loads of stuff. anyway, i'm not going to work in december already [at least i dont think so?], so i guess i'll have more time to study (: and play :DDD and exercise too :D planning to start studying right after i'm done with nanowrimo. and i seriously need my own table or desk. and a cupboard or something to put all my rubbishy stuff inside! you have no idea how much stuff i brought home from school. there's so much i'm afraid my table [i put most of the stuff on this glass coffee table which is not in use anymore] will collapse. :/ i'm so evil. -sigh and back to typing-

:DDD its end of o levels for the sec 4s! haha wanjane called me at like 9.30am while i was sleeping. didnt hear the call, but then she smsed me and i heard that. so i called her back. she was using her friend's handphone, i think. and then i think she was super high? haha. or maybe it was just cos i was still super sleepy and blur. ^^'' oops? haha. but yeahh, i'm like really happy for the sec 4s. :D um. those that have finished their exams already, yeah. i bet the shopping malls will be flooded with students today. or these few days, at least. yeahh. haha. sounds fun. makes me feel like being a sec 4 too.

anyway, after wanjane called me then i couldnt go back to sleep [see what you did! tsk.] then i had to get up and i started on my novel, which sort of made me quite depressed. because at first i was super high too when wanjane told me her o levels are over. haha okay i dunno what i'm high for. i'm not even a sec 4. haha. yeahh then i did my novel until i became very sian. then played audi. and i was bloody pissed at audi and my laptop because it was super damn lag and i was just damn angry. do you have to spoil my day like that? ugh. forget it.

umm. jan went to buy lunch for me. he bought char kway teow because i told him to. but i didnt like it. haha. [yes i know i suck.] but i think, perhaps i dont really hate him. maybe i just say i do, but in fact i dont. i dont know. sometimes i really do hate him. but after a while i dont. so i dont really know. i just know that when he does things for me, like buying lunch for me, he seems more like a brother. but when he's ignoring me or hitting me, then he doesnt seem like a brother any more. i dont know. what are elder brothers like? why do all my friends' elder brothers help them with their homework and are nice to them and don't hit them? why doesnt my brother do that? i wish i knew. i wish my brother was nicer.

i've done about 7.3k words. which means 700 more to 8k. which was my target for yesterday. =.= so after i reach the 8k target, i need to reach today's target, which is 11k. damn. i must really stop falling asleep while typing. i concluded that, when i work hard, i'm bound to fall asleep really soon. my mum says its my mindset. i dont know. maybe it is? maybe its my mind which is lazy and doesnt want to work hard, so every time i try, it just goes on this auto turn off mode. which makes me fall asleep. its logical, isnt it? if its really the case, then you have no idea how pissed i am with my brain. seriously. but anyway, that might just be the reason why i fall asleep in lessons and while studying. or... maybe its just because i'm sleepy? i dont know. but i never seem to have enough sleep. you can plop me anywhere and i can fall asleep wherever i am. in class, on the train, on the bus, at home, sitting down in the middle of a shopping center [i've never tried that before actually :/], etc... if only i couldnt fall asleep so easily. this sucks, doesnt it?



你有没有想过，在你开心快乐的时候，在这世界的另一个角落，可能会有一个人在哭着?
没有吧?
可是你知道吗?
如果你是全世界最快乐的人, 那一定会有一个全世界最不快乐的人.
你有没有想过，这个人的感受?
你有没有想过，这个人如果看到你，可能会觉得更沮丧?
应该没有吧.

为什么呢?
为什么这世界就是这么残忍?

在你快乐的时刻, 也许你身边的人在难过.
那个在世界最不快乐的人, 可能就在你的旁边.
知道了这个可能性, 你还会不会快乐?
我不会.
我不会再觉得快乐, 可能永远都不会觉得快乐了.
如果有其他的人在哭着, 那我怎么忍心笑着呢?
你要我不顾他们的感受, 继续笑着, 我是绝对不能做到的.

下次在你要笑之前, 要不要先考虑到那个全世界最不快乐的人?
那么, 也许, 也许而已, 你就不会再笑了.

[tag reply]

debbie: haha um. i'll consider. =P



had cca today and we went to sec ava rm and did a lot a lot of stuff, like the cca board and planning for camp, and other stuff. from 10am to about 2.30pm for me. most of them went home at 1pm, but exco stayed behind. but then again, i couldnt stay until too late, so i left earlier. and. i ate lunch twice today. pro right? :D but was super full after that. :/ listened to my handphone mp3 on the train home, and i realised that some songs are really nice :D which i never noticed before. didnt do much when i got home, and i've been practising violin. taking a break right now to blog.

i want to continue on my novel later. but i dont know if i'll have time. plus, i'm having this bad headache right now. !@$^%$%!@#!^#%(^*^% i hate it when i get headaches. guess its because of staring at the laptop. i'll go get some fresh air later. maybe it'll help. but anyway, right now my word count is 5304. :D at least i hit 5k. shall aim for 3k everyday, from today onwards. at first i thought i had about 19 days to work on it [including today], but then i realised that i have see2 from 25-27 and cca camp from 28-29. but i can count cca camp as 1 day, since i can novel on 29 after i've come back from camp. so yeah. thats about 4 days gone D: DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IS FOUR DAYS? thats almost equal to 12k, if i do 3k everyday. i thought i only had to do 2k+ everyday, but since i only have about 15 days left, i'll have to do 3k everyday. if i dont, i am D-E-A-D DEADDDDD. so i have to do this mans. 3k more for today!!! shall do later after i come back from violin lesson. (: off to practise violin =.=

[tag replies]

jessica: uhh. very hard leh. haha. i try okay? (:

wanjane: lol. okay then :D



LESSONS ARE OVER FOR THE YEAR. YAY. and bio spa is over too. 总之 a lot of things over already, so :DDD because i can do nanowrimo. umm. i'm still lagging behind a lot, but i hope that i can catch up, yeah? (: i think that if i work at it hard enough and don't distract myself, i'll be able to finish it. anyway, i'm hoping to study a lot in december and revise through everything i've missed out or been sleeping through. can only say that, this time i really want to do this, and i shall promise myself not to be so slack during the holidays. umm. okay. target: nanowrimo done by november, study in december, maximum 1 hour of slacking per day, unless i'm going out. yepp. slacking refers to a lot of things, eg. blogging, playing audi, watching videos, playing with handphone, surfing the net, etc... hoepfully i wont go out so often during the holidays, so have more time to study? haha. and because i MIGHT be working during the holidays for 1 or 2 weeks, and if thats the case, that means i probably wont be able to study much during that period of time. which sucks. hmm. :/ i'll just try to squeeze in more when i'm at home. now it feels as if i hardly have time to study. shit. the supposedly super long holiday has become somewhat of a 1 month holiday for me only. what with nanowrimo and all. crap. D:

anyway, chewlin left for taiwan on sunday and sufyan left for china yesterday. and he's online right now. haha. talking to him now. and its winter over there :D thats cool. he says its super cold there. yay winter's coming righttt. :D ok now i feel like playing audition. i dunno. must be because i was thinking of christmas and stuff. maybe i'll go play later. which reminds me that i was super cold just now. but i've got a jacket with me now so its better. yes i'm wearing a jacket at home. :D haha because if i dont turn on the fan, it gets hot and a bit stuffy. but when i turn it on, its super freezing. so yeah. just woke up about half an hour ago? because i fell asleep just now when i was doing nanowrimo. :/ sobs. how could i?! oh well. back to nanowrimo. and i just realised i'm lagging behind in my violin practise. crap. shall practise hard tomorrow.

[tag reply]

wanjane: umm. i not sure lehh? haha cos my guitar is my dad buy de. o.O maybe i go ask him next time.



NOOO. I DIDNT NOVEL TODAY. D: CRAPPP. I AM SO DEAD MEAT. I NEED TO SERIOUSLY CHIONG LAH. damn. i feel like slapping myself. which i shall do, because i didnt meet the 5000 word limit i set for myself last friday or something. for saturday. and maybe i'll even slap myself extra for not doing anything today. [except that maybe i'll do some later? i dont know.] if i dont do this, i'm just going to kill myself with regret. must convince myself to finish this. OKAY. TOMORROW, I WILL COME HOME FROM SCHOOL, PLOP MYSELF DOWN ON THE CHAIR, AND START NOVELING!!! NOT. VIDEOING. NO VIDEOING. IF I WATCH EVEN 1 SECOND OF VIDEO TOMORROW, I WILL SLAP MYSELF 10 TIMES. good enough? hopefully. AND NO AUDIING EITHER. there. luckily for me, tomorrow is my last day of lessons and bio spa, so i'll be free after that :DDD expletus. i'll be able to use my time after that to concentrate on nanowrimo. my target: at least 2500 words a day, from tomorrow onwards.

we had some careers education workshop today, which was kinda crappy to me. didnt really apply much to me i guess? i dont know. i especially hated the personality test. all the personality tests in the world are the same. cant anyone do anything more interesting? or if not, more reliable, at least. and anyway, i always fail personality tests, mainly because i have no idea who i am or what my personality is like, so i have no 资格/right to say what i'm like or what i would do in a particular situation. see? stupid personality tests and their false lies. [okay now i'm just pissed.] umm and i didnt really find the other stuff very important or helpful either, i guess. the jobs they showed to us... lol. don't kid me. i'm not interested in any single one of them. and the interview thing was kind of rubbish to me, because i thought most of the things that they told us were like. common sense? plus, i've been to an interview before so it wasnt really something very new to me, i guess. yeahh. basically thats all. was in the same classroom with 3justice so i moved up to sit with wanyee and jess and jac after the break :D was quite fun. sorry i pangseh-ed my 3hope friends. :/ whoops? :x

after school, i went home with jac. had to go to the primary block classrooms to get some of my stuff before we left. [school's almost closing and i've got loads of stuff still in school.] we went amk hub and jac bought her cute cat bag while i found out that the shop was pretty cool and decided to go there to buy stuff from now on. :D after that, we went cwp and ate lunch at yoshinoya with her mum. yum. :D after that, we went to the library. at first i just wanted to return a book, but then we went up and i started taking a long time to find my books. haha oops? :/ but you know what! i found john marsden's 'darkness, be my friend' and 'burning for revenge' :DDD yeah man! shall read them when i have the time. when i'm not nanowrimoing. :/ which reminds me. NO READING BOOKS EITHER. JUST NO DOING ANYTHING TO DISTRACT ME FROM WORKING ON THAT NOVEL. umm even though i borrowed them and i'm probably going to read them, but yeah, i still want those books and they'll remain on my wishlist. and i couldnt find the sixth book D: [the 2 books are the fourth and fifth.] but there was the seventh book there. that was so upsetting lahh. T_T if there was the sixth book, then i could have borrowed the seventh one too. crap it. haiz. yeah then after that i finally went home and jac went to find her mum.

yeah and this is evil of me, i know, but i still want to say this: i think my life really rocks right now and i would want it to stay like this for a very long time. i think its because i've really gotten used to that 'i dont care' and 'this is my life' kind of attitude, so i dont really go T_T non-stop for something sad or be angry non-stop or whatever. so yeah, i'm mainly just my usual somewhat happy self, and somewhat closed off emotions and i guess its okay with me, because it helps me be unaffected by a lot of things. which is good, because i just dont want to feel pain anymore. yeah i know this is selfish of me, but i really just dont want to. whats the point, anyway? when i can be so much better off without all those emotions. i wonder if this is what happens after people are done meditating. perhaps? it feels like it. like i've gained the whole picture of this whole world and there's no use to be sad over insignificant tiny things. isn't that great? i feel so. enlightened. haha. valde bonus :D

and. i've realised that my english at home is freaking rubbish and crappy and sucks bigtime. it goes something like this: 'i today dunnid to go so early.' like wtf. =.= damn. when its supposed to be: 'i don't have to go to school so early today.' ughhh. just living here makes me feel retarded. i dont talk that badly when i'm outside with my friends, okay. i just add in 'lah's and 'lor's, which is not as bad as changing the whole sentence structure. i should just stop talking so much at home, before it really changes my way of talking. or maybe i should talk chinese at home. but then there's no one to talk with me. D: ah well. i've got to study bio today. i think i'll study a bit now, and then if i have time later, maybe work on my novel for a little while or go to sleep early. goodnight. -yawns- oh yes and i must remember to slap myself.

[tag reply]

wanjane: haha um... sorry, but :/ i'm not a guitar pro? haha so :/ i dunno. but i still want to go! T.T



i tried to spent the weekend noveling away. it didnt work!!! T_T sobs. WHAT DO I DO NOW? at this rate, i need to do about 2000+ words everyday. right now, my word count is 3733 words. D: that means i did less than 4000 words in 2 days! crap. from tomorrow onwards, i must do at least 2000 words a day. so maybe i'll rush home right after school or something. hmm :/ i dunno. but i seem to have a lot of mindblocks while typing. and i wasted a lot of time searching for suitable names for my lovely characters. :D hahaha okay i think i'm spending way too much time searching for names. maybe i should stop doing that. it doesnt feel like 2 days. it feels like at least 5. because of how many times i had to stop and go surf the web to find more information about whatever i'm noveling about. besides the names, i also had to find out more about clothes, and some other random stuff. it really feels like 5 long hard days of work have passed. haha interesting. shall work on the plot in my head during the workshop tomorrow, then maybe rush home after that to continue.

besides noveling, i've been busy reading my last library book [overdue since friday], 'dirty work', and just recently [a few hours ago] watching a new series of videos. this time it's an anime. :D decided not to go for the jap lessons anymore, because they changed the dates and it'd be very inconvenient anyway. but i'm still going to find somewhere to learn piano. maybe i should ask around. and perhaps a guitar lesson could come in handy. or i should just put more time into self-studying. after i'm done with nanowrimo, i'm going to start doing lots of stuff, like study all the school subjects over again [i have a lovely memory], continue practising violin super hard for my exam next year, start learning piano properly, self-learn guitar, physics, and jap. and perhaps even take music theory lessons. it kinda sucks to be stuck at grade 5 only, don't you think so? and i think i'll be quite upset after i stop learning violin next year. maybe i'll continue after o levels? i dont know... and i really really want an electric guitar now. gary has one. why cant i have one D: electric guitars are way cooler than classical ones, although classical ones are cool too :D they just have different types of coolness. haha. and i prefer the electric guitar's coolness. right now, at least.

anyway, knowing that there's a workshop tomorrow totally raises my spirits up. i love workshops where you sit there and do nothing much. and at least they're more interesting than our dear lessons. thinking about lessons on tuesday just makes me go 'ugh. no way am i going to do homework. its the last day of lessons.' and this causes me to go on slacking. which explains why i haven't done my math and chem homework [still, after i-dunno-how-many-days] and i haven't started studying for bio spa. in fact, i've hardly been listening in lessons so i dont even know what we're supposed to study for bio spa. maybe i should take my file home tomorrow to study? but then where would i find time to study and novel at the same time? D: crap. now i've got a huge problem. oh well. better go sleep now. and my stomach hurts like hell right now and i have no idea why. damn it. goodnight (:

[tag reply]

wanjane: YES OF COURSE DEFINITELY CAN!!! :DDD I WANT TO GO AND SEE WHAT GUITAR YOU BUY TOO! and if you don't bring me along when you go and buy your guitar, i'll... um... i wont talk to you anymore! =P so you better tell me when you're going to get your guitar hor! :D



well, today wasn't really a novel day. i woke up at about 8am and i spent the morning noveling away. so far, there's only 1066 words. sad mans. i'll pull up the numbers by a lot tomorrow, i promise. if they don't hit 5000 tomorrow, i'll slap myself hard and ground myself from shopping or going to jessica's house to play guitar hero 4 for the next 10 days. really! [getting myself to hit 5000 words tomorrow is going to take a lot of sacrifices] then jac confirmed that she could go to jessica's house [JESSICA GOT HER GUITAR HERO 4 YESTERDAY!!!] so i left house around 1pm. went to the library to return 2 of my books ['bad blood' and 'the devil's footsteps'] first, then went over to jessica's house. which also means that my last and third book will be overdue for at least a day.

when i got there, even wanyee and theresa were there too. whoa. so we had this huge guitar-heroing-as-a-band kind of thing together, and because there were only 4 positions, [singer, guitarist, bassist, drummer] there was always one extra person sitting there and waiting for her turn on the bass guitar. haha. but IT WAS UBER FUN MANS! and we had such a greatgreatgreat time there! :D thanks jessica for the house and the food and drinks and guitar hero 4 and letting us stay there for about 3 and a half hours! (: i liked all the positions, seriously. :D i love guitars and drums and even singing was fun. [i thought it wasnt very fun at first, but i grew to like it quite quickly, once we got a hang of it.] finally left around 5.30pm for school. jessica's sister sent us there. thanks (:

when we got there, it was exactly 5.45pm and we were just in time! :D coolios. then, we had an evening of poetry, where there were 3 local poets, and they shared poems with us and stuff. i have to say that it was quite interesting. did i mention that i love poems but i just cant write them? haiz. oh well. it was from about 6pm - 8pm. after that, went to amk hub with jac, jess and wanyee to eat dinner, and finally went home with jac. had a great fun day today, thanks especially to my very good friends jac, jess and wanyee. (: anyway, i want to sleep early today :D [getting sleepy now] goodnightnightnight!