so i just passed my driving practical test today ^^ heh. quite happy with myself because i really wanted to pass on first try because i think i already wasted enough money going for all those lessons and everything. burnt like 2k already i think? i dunno, but it's just all freaking ex, so now i'm just like PHEW. okay. finally passed. no more unnecessary spending of money on super ex driving lessons! (: so that's definitely good. no need to retake and pay another 100 plus for another test, yaye. now for the details!



woke up late today and got quite worked up about the test :/ left house super early and got there super early as well, then dragged time until it was finally time to go to the waiting area for warm-up. waited moreee [in fact today was totally spent waiting manz.] until we were finally allowed to go and get into our cars and warm-up plus testrun (: my instructor was this bubbly and friendly dude so that was slightly more comforting. and somehow even though i got quite worked up at home before i left for bbdc, and at the waiting area, i was totally chill during the warm-up. dunno whether it was because it wasn't the real test or what. i mean, i could feel a bit of urgency because we pretty much rushed through the circuit courses and the road drive was pretty quick as well, but i was really totally chill. which explains why my test run was like, almost perfect. seriously. it was like :O (Y) i am proud of myself manz! especially if you compare it to the 3 rather bad lessons over the past 3 days :/

after that we got out and went upstairs to the waiting room for the testers to call us down again! there i got worked up again because i was hoping that i could replicate what i just did during my warm-up drive but knew that it would be quite hard to get everything right again. felt a bit like the warm-up drive was this tyco/miracle thing, yknow. [especiallyyy after the past 3 days' lessons.] cos i really felt like i hadn't gotten my confidence back after not driving for 2 months :/ but i guess today was a good day! tester called my name, said we were doing route 9, and then we were off. down the stairs and out to the carpark and back into the car that i adjusted the seat just an hour ago and which my instructor didn't change and had to seriously squeeze in like some canned sardine [he admitted it haha] to park into the parking lot. like lol max. sorrayeee instructor. and then the test started so quickly i couldn't even comprehend that i was having a test. like i realised i didn't have to readjust my seat [too used to adjusting seat every time i get into the car. first thing we always have to do mah.] so i was a bit lost at first lolz. almost wanted to adjust my mirror as well, but then i was like ohyah don't need also hor. so i just started the car and we were off. the fact that i was taking a real practical test only sank in when i was rounding the bend in the circuit after driving out of the parking lot. lolz. lag max.

circuit stuffs first! today is the first time i went through all the circuit so hurriedly, both during the warm-up and the test itself. just totally chionged through all the circuit courses. s-course first, okay. phew, never hit/mount curb. one down. then vertical parking. phew, my car was straight. ok good next and ohmygawd phew i remembered to adjust the mirrors back before moving out. after that i hesitated behind the yellow box cos there was this motorbike which was very close to the box and i was afraid i'd hit it if i turned out, so i got demerit points for that ): sigh. tester super fierce sia, 'what are you waiting for?' in this fierce tone. me in a super timid tone 'uhh. the motorbike..' and then he scolded me saying that it was not in my way :/ freakinggg scary and i was damn freaked out by that k! i was like ohmygawd i thought my tester just LOOKED fierce but he WAS super fierce and scary as well! T.T then get scolded already so quickly turn out and moved on. next one was the slope, done with my usual swag-ness. [haha okay no la. but stopping on slopes now is like habit for me already. can do it in my sleep liao.] after that was crank course, okay good done with that as well. then parallel parking. reverse and position and tester was like okay let's go so yayeee hurry just go out already. then tester was like okay go out of circuit now so hurry lane change and it dawned on me that i was done with all the circuit courses liao woots.

driving on the road was a bit better i guess. [i glanced at the map so i roughly remembered the route ^^] at least the first few parts where i was driving was pretty easy. turn left then all straight, then u-turn so change lanes yaye not too much traffic quite easy to change lane very good. u-turn didn't have to wait very long also goodgood and then change lanes all the way back to the leftmost. before i realised, crappp later have to change lane all the way back to the rightmost cos must make right turn! but want to stay in center lane also not allowed, so sighhh. suck thumb and bear with it lor. as expected, after the traffic junction, tester said, next junction turn right. and i was like, i knew it! but damn. because the traffic was heavy and damn lot of cars and no holes/gaps/empty spaces to change lane into! rawrr. slow down a bit to wait for space, then hurry accelerate and change. left to middle lane was the hardest, took so long to find a space that i was damn scared cannot change to rightmost lane in time T.T scary max. after that middle to right i was quite worried also because behind the cars always have another car D: finally just see one got more space, hurry accelerate in also and praying damn hard 1) the car behind won't curse/swear/horn at me and 2) the tester won't think i'm some reckless driver ): after that right turn like a boss while the car in front of me [also on test] seemed to have taken the wrong lane. or at least it turned into the middle of both lanes o.o don't think that was supposed to happen. ohwellz. after that just followed the test car in front which was super slow ._.

[oh don't remind me. during warm-up run, there was also this super slow learner driver in front of me on this 70km/h speed limit road. and i was like whuuut duuude that's like 35km/h or something sia. then don't want to overtake so just follow behind lor. then got some poor learner driver behind me also have to follow behind me. like some train already sia.]

after that we turned left and onto the road heading back to bbdc and i was like whoawhoa so fast finishing alreadyyy :O tester asked me to go back to bbdc, but there was this huge jam because it was end of the session for a lot of learner drivers, so there was this long queue of cars & buses [cos the bus stop is next to bbdc] on the left lane. tester asked me to overtake, then to slow down superrr slow, while he wound down the window, raised his hand up, and got me to drive into the left lane while some learner car behind me gave way to let me into the queue :O wahseh. on test really = priority sia. seriously everyone will give way. (Y) i also want to put that 2 L plates everyday already LOL. going back into bbdc, as my warm-up instructor reminded me, wasn't the end of my test yet. had to drive in then stop and turn off engine before the test ends. that was pretty much nothing though. tester got out of the car super quickly after i turned off the engine, and said something about going up that i didn't hear clearly, so i asked him again, but he was out of the car already ._. in the end really didn't know what to do, then i remembered instructor say go up wait for results, so i just assumed i could go up already. hurried up and since my tester was walking rather slowly, caught up with him as well. at the second level, he pointed into the results waiting area for me so thankgoodness at least i knew where to go. there were already 2 other people waiting there so i felt much safer, like i'm not doing anything wrong there, so yepp. just sat my ass down and waited for resultsss.

tester came back, sat down, and first thing he said was that i never check my blind spots in this superrr strict voice. wahseh. i swear my tester really scary max luh. i didn't know what to say, so i just 'oh-ed' at him and looked down at the table. then he repeated himself, and i thought that maybe i should say something instead of acting sorry [because it didn't seem to work on him], so i said i did. and he totally scolded me again for saying that. T.T really scary please. so i repeated that i did, not all the times, but sometimes. LOL. okay i fail max as well. but anyway, he continued saying that i did not, and that he was watching me. i was just like sighhh okay i didn't, okay? [but seriously i only forgot to check a couple of times, not ALL the time!] and looked down at the table again. and i saw 'PASSED' there on that white piece of paper. WOOTS. after that, everything else pretty much went well. tester said other than blind spots, everything else was satisfactory ^^ and then told me to go get my license and everything, then go down for graduate video. so yepp, applied for my license, went down to take photo and submit it [because i didn't bring. totally didn't know had to bring. i thought had to apply for license another day or something.] and then went to watch the video. there were 6 people there, and i'm quite sure i counted 10 previously, so that's a 6/10 chance of passing the test? haha super rough gauge but yeah. after video went back up with the others and got my temporary license~ woots, then happy and took the bus backkk.



by the way, getting my license wasn't even really what made my day. what made my day was this damn nice instructor. start of story: at the waiting area while waiting for warm-up run, some instructor came in to tell us the general stuffs, and then another instructor came in to get the clipboard to edit/fill up or something, and he looked super familiar and smiled super widely at me, then i realised he taught me before so i smiled back and nodded. a couple of seconds later, i also realised he was that super nice instructor who taught me quite a couple of times before and whom i totally freaked out by almost turning into the road of incoming traffic before. i am serious it was that freaky and that embarrassing that i don't think i'll ever forget it. [plus i felt freakinggg paiseh to have another lesson with him after that incident.] sighh. worst thing that ever happened to me while driving. [i think you can refer to a super long ago previous post for more info.] and then the next thing i realised was that, omg he recognises me?!?! [am i too memorable thanks to that near-accident...] anyway i was actually quite delighted that an instructor recognised me. i mean, out of the numerous students that they have everyday, it must really be quite hard remembering students right! plus he only taught me like, i don't know, 5 or 6 times? and i hadn't been to bbdc for like 2 months leh! like waow. really zai memory sia.

after i came back from test and found out i passed and went down for graduate video, i saw the admin guy there who recognises me as well, and he was like showing thumbs up and giving this questioning look, like asking if i passed, so i nodded and smiled at him and omg you should've seen that super :O look he had on his face! haha wth is that supposed to mean right! so shocked that i passed for what! haha but he was like super surprised and happy for me and gave me thumbs up again and smiled to say good job i guess, so i just nodded again to say thanks :D

later while waiting for the graduate video, that same instructor whom i saw while waiting for warm-up walked past, and asked me if i passed, and i was like yeah, and he just broke into this superrr wide smile and gave me thumbs up as well and he looked sooo happy for me that so i ended up smiling quite happily as well :D feeling quite thankful that i somehow seem to have a lot of friends in bbdc! hehe ^^ super big thankyou to all the awesome instructors that i've had, especially that super nice instructor whom i saw today! ^^ yaye! will miss the awesome instructors :'( especially the super nice ones and the ones who will talk a lot of crap/are fun to talk to! heh. and yeah, hope that if i ever see that instructor again, he'll still recognise me eh! :D i swear he totally made my day today (:



offically licensed to drive! and you know what i was most worried about after stepping out of bbdc? the fact that i didn't tie my hair up in the photo that i took for my license, because i was freakinggg scared that my mum would scold me :/ thankgoodness in the end she didn't, so ^^ today has been a good day!

treated myself to mos burger and kaya lattice from delifrance after the test. haha my treat damn fail right. but it's alright, i didn't even want to spend much money, because hellooo trying to save money here. but honestly i wasn't all that happy about getting my license. it's just like, okaaay i have a license now. kind of happy, yeah, but not overjoyed or anything la. i guess partly cos 1) we have no car so not much point also i guess. dad says he'll rent but not sure if that's going to happen also. and 2) even if i can drive, also need dad's supervision until i can park properly at least, cos i swear parking in circuit =/= parking in carparks or next to other cars. and 3) i think i'd be happier with a bike license. not that i'm complaining, really! i mean, i'm really trying to save money which explains why i paused my bike lessons for the time being, and i'm trying to be guai as well okay. my mum doesn't think it, but i'm already trying very hard to be guai luh.

when my dad came home and found out i passed, he was like, good job, pass on first try. [well duhhh if i cannot pass on first try i will seriously feel like killing myself because have to waste more money and won't dare to face my dad already. he still telling me just now that he and another guy were the only ones in bbdc last time that could make 360 degree turns with the car without any proper training ._. okay, dad, i get it.] but when he saw my result slip, he wasn't as happy, i think. i only got 6 demerit points, but that's cos a lot of the other points had free counts, so first time not counted. if they were all counted without any free counts, i would have gotten 18 points. still a pass, but not very good. [more than 20 points = fail.] after seeing the list of reasons for demerit points, my dad was like, so actually you made a lot of mistakes luh. sighhh. guess it's not going to be easy to get my dad to be satisfied with my driving ):



well yepp that's pretty much all for today! excitinggg day. even if the warm-up and test added together was only 1 hour. lol. super lot of waiting time though. alrightt off to maple now! ^^ and then hopefully can sleep early today but anyway tomorrow is rest day! ^^ goodnight!

so i came back last night after tuition to find my brother using my desktop to play maple. knew he'd play already cos he said so, but still. thanks much. past 2 weeks every time come and stand behind me and watch me play maple then now finally succumbed and want to play, but have to play on my desktop -.- walao eh. i wanted to play so i told him that he'd better get off the computer when i came home, but no, he couldn't do that. so after that i said he'd better get off after i shower, but nope, he didn't do that either. in the end drag freaking long, i shower, eat supper, play how many rounds of wordsearch on my handphone already, then he finally decided to download maple onto his own laptop. but not over yet, still must ask me for the installation file zzz. in the end my desktop hanged. thanks luh. dragged like super long i was actually damn pissed at him but just had to tell myself to 忍. but after that i concluded that i really hate this place because of the people. ugh.

later on finally got to use my desktop and then started a new character again haha i'm just spamming new characters everywhere manz. okay la not true. but mercedes is really shuang cos the hp & mp heals damn fast! omg ♥ max hehe ^^ no need to spam pots or anything for normal use, so yaye ^^

anyway, took bus to bbdc today and wtf the bus driver took the wrong exit out of the expressway.  then had to go back to expressway and almost took the wrong exit out again! wtf sia. wasted like 15 minutes which made me effing pissed off because i was like 10 minutes late for lesson ughh. my precious time and money just wasted like that! thanks to that bus driver. and that's not even the worst part. worst part is that, after my lesson i took the bus home and it was freaking the same bus & bus driver! fml sia how unlucky can i be. today really not my day manz.

i think also partly cos of that, i was in a super rushed and anxious and worried and just not calm mood when i went for lesson, which might explain why my driving lesson today didn't go very well :/ sighhh. last lesson already. tomorrow exam leh ): just have to be super calm tomorrow and everything should go alrighttt. okay off to maple and to make myself happier! eff la was really effing pissed at the bus driver today. ugh. might eat chocolate later to make myself happier as well. at least the driver didn't make any wrong turns on the journey back. jeez.

so i just opened up my cpu to take out the wireless internet card thing and put it back in and my internet is working again thankgoodness. damn pissed though. i hate doing these kind of stuffs.and my brother is of so little help. so much for him being in computer club secondary through jc and learning computer science. jeez. all he does is sit on that fat chair of his playing computer games and watching videos. ugh. at least my internet is working again for now. not sure if it's totally fixed yet though. the last time this happened was about a year or two ago. ohwellz. on a side note, now my hand smells of rust and such even though i washed it already. eww gross ):

i'm still trying to get used to the idea that i'm actually going to stay in hall when uni starts. it's like, after fighting for something for so long, and you finally get it, i don't know. the joy isn't as great as you'd think it is, really. which makes me wonder whether i really wanted to get away from home that much? i don't know either. maybe not. but still, i know it's gonna be a good experience. just gotta look on the bright side. i can do this. maybe after one semester of hall stay i'll grow to love the place, and never want to go back home. or maybe, after one semester of hall stay, i'll just give up and move back home. i don't know what's going to happen either, but let's just wait and see how the story unfolds (:

driving lesson today wasn't too good :/ still quite shaky leh siannn. at least the instructor said my second road attempt was better than my first. maybe i just need more warm-ups. maybe. but still, it's just one more FINAL lesson tomorrow, before the exam. i really need to do this. [wtf can you imagine if i fail, waste how much money sia! zzz.] i can do this. tomorrow will be all out already! must get everything right. no more room for mistakes or errors or lack of confidence.

wanted to use the internet to play maple just now after i got back from driving until i have to go out again for tuition, but thanks to lousy computer, i only have less than an hour left to maple now. sighz. dinner shall be chocolate bread & coco crunch yaye. i'm just killing my throat everyday i swear. just now still buy chocolate waffle for the chocolate sauce. gosh. gg max. got phlegm already ): okay off to play then eat then tuition then play some more then sleep. yaye! ^^

okay i was in a good mood 15 minutes ago. until my mum decided to start nagging again and i swear my mood just dropped right back down again. oh, i didn't mention? going home can cause my mood to drop from 90 on the happy and satisfied scale to 90 on the angry, stressed and upset scale, a hundred percent thanks to my mum.



anyway, went for first driving lesson in a longlong time today. haven't touched the steering wheel in about 2 months, but today was pretty okay! the first part was kinda shaky. first thing that i had to do, not even a minute after touching the steering wheel, was s-course. wahseh. thank goodness driving has become sort of an inbuilt thing already, so a lot of things was just done automatically and i didn't have to struggle to remember a lot. so yepp (: and the instructor said my road was okay! :O i remember the last time i went for driving, the instructor said my circuit was okay but road wasn't. lol. this time though, apparently my vertical parking has some issues ): used to be one of my best subjects leh. now i'm like cui ): car not straight when i park ): nevermind at least i'm still good at stopping on slopes ^^

after lesson i went to cwp and walked around metro. apparently my parents said they saw 3 nice dresses there so i went to have a look. my dad took photos but i hadn't seen them yet. saw a couple of nice tops, but no nice dresses. later on when my parents showed me the photos, i was like -.- 1) they're not nice. 2) they're tops not dresses. what the. ohwellz. parents' taste lor. after walking around and chilling, i went to eat at mos burger and then went homeee.



today was the deadline for accepting the hall offer. and i finally asked my mum again about staying in hostel. she said yes very calmly without nagging at me about retarded things again. thanks mum. i know she's worried but yknow it just pisses me off when she nags about stupid things. sighh. many thanks to my dad as well.

tbh, i know that i can stay at home, and i've thought about it before, okay? it's not like i haven't considered all these things before. staying at home is fine, except that i reallyreally just want to experience staying away from home for once. it's not just the freedom. i want to learn to be independent as well, okay. i want to learn how to live on my own, without any babysitting by my mum, which i have grown up under for as long as i have lived. i just want to show myself that i can do all these things on my own as well. is that so bad? it's just an experience thing. one or two years away from home, feel how it's like without someone to do everything for you, and then after that maybe when i go back home i'll be much more appreciative of everything? i don't know either. i just know it'll be a good learning experience. seriously. it's not just all about getting away from my mum.



what made me pissed after my good mood of accepting hall was that the laptop battery spoilt [no that's not what made me pissed] and i told my mum. and then the nightmare begins, because my mum started going crazy about it and nagging like siao and asking me to go find where to buy laptop battery and to hurry go buy it tomorrow or something and even though i was checking it online, she was doing the manual work trying to find the warranty card or something, which she couldn't, and she started saying that i was good for nothing and that i could only sit there and do my own things and go stay in hostel but not help out with these kind of things. totally wtf cos i was looking it up on the internet and i hate how she drags stupid things in like i only know how to go stay in hostel but dunno how to see to the spoilt battery. unrelated, okay. wtf. and anyway i was pretty annoyed as well because she made such a big fuss out of it when i don't even intend to buy a new battery in the first place. jeez.



well let's review the events for the past week.
sunday - bread for lunch, rh rag dance, subway dinner.
monday - ajisen ramen lunch, clothes shopping, starbucks mugging.
tuesday - manhattan fish market lunch, oreo mcflurry dessert, bag shopping.
wednesday - subway lunch, 2 movies, pastamania dinner.
thursday - karaoke, toast bread and snacks for dinner.
friday - badminton, starbucks and kuriya sushi for dinner.
saturday - cycling, koi and prata for dinner.
sunday - rollerblading, snacked at carl's jr, bowling, tcc dinner.

wah. good life siol. and burnt damn lot of money as well. not counting the first sunday, i've spent over 200 bucks in 7 days. 我一定是疯了。sighz. will have to spend less for the next few weeks :/



okay other than that, everything is pretty much normal. i think i just made a new possibly-good friend today (: yaye. supposed to revise tuition stuffs but uhh :/ i love procrastinating too much. was doing hall stuffs and then seeing to the laptop batt and then the i-robot lookalike [okay it's called iclebo. i will attempt to remember that.] that's cleaning the house so i ended up here with no time for revising math. will have to do it tomorrow i guess. another driving lesson tomorrow rawrr off to sleep for now! goodnight! [and yaye i didn't succumb to supper tonight even though i only ate a single burger at mos for dinner :O keep it up jane! ^^]

i would have ranted again because my mum really made me go crazy again today, from the moment i woke up until now, but after all the anger and hate and resentment builds up in me, and after the tears fall, i become calmer and i feel slightly better. honestly, after all of that, i just want to give everything up right now. not just what i've been trying to get - which is to stay in hall - but everything that i have right now. going for rag, going for camps, the uni friends i know so far, going to NUS even. i wouldn't mind giving them all up. i wouldn't mind not going to uni at all, since it's causing me so much trouble and grieve and anger. it's like, what's the point? after all the sadness of getting my results, then the joy of being able to get into NUS, in the end i'm still feeling miserable over going to uni. what's the point of going to uni if i'm going to be so upset and miserable about it all? i just want to give up everything i have in my life right now.

i'm just so tired of fighting for all these things that others can get so easily. i know my dad's trying to help me, but when he asked me to work out the terms and conditions with my mum for staying in hall, i just couldn't bring myself to do it. she'd been nagging at me for the entire day, partly trying to dissuade me from going to hall by asking me all the annoying minor questions like what type of sheets to bring for the bed there, that i just got so annoyed and pissed off about it all, i can't even be bothered to tell her that i'm probably only staying there for 2 years. i just give up talking to her, okay. i give up trying to communicate with her, because i don't fucking know how to communicate with her at all. i'm quite sure that if i try, i will just end up crying and settling nothing at all, probably just giving her even greater motivation to persuade me out of staying at hall. so when my dad asked if i had talked to my mum about it, i said no. and he wasn't happy. but whatever. i really don't want to care anymore.

the deadline for hall acceptance is tomorrow. yet. i really don't know if i'll have the courage to press that accept button.

all i really wanted to do today was to go to some quiet cafe and buy a drink and sit there and stare into nothingness for the entire day thinking about myself and my decisions for my future uni life and having no one stare at me as i cry so goddamn badly over everything and nothing at all. really, that's all i wanted to do today. i think it'll be what i want to do tomorrow as well. but no, i can't, thanks to my mum. she is really the bane of my existence. sigh.



anyway, went for medical checkup today. bad news is that my left eye seems to have attained a higher degree ): [one of the things i got angry with my mum about as well, when she asked me how was my eyesight and did it deprove, cos i know that she would be angry at me if it did, so i said i don't know, and she was angry at me all the same because she said i should know the results.] good news is that i was 44.6kg this afternoon! ^^ i became lighter yaye happy~ anyway, there was height, weight, eyesight, blood pressure, urine test, chest x-ray, and a general checkup with a doctor. took slightly more than an hour to complete everything, though i felt like i went through each station pretty fast.

and this science girl randomly talked to me and seemed super excited and enthu when i told her i was from science too and started telling me all about scamp and rag and everything when i said i didn't go for it. too enthu already bah x.x haha. while i was just partly trying to keep the convo going because i was focusing more on not missing my turn when i'm called. well besides the details of scamp, most of which i know already, it was an informative convo since i found out sci rag timings and realised that it's freaking hiong. sigh. ohwellz anyway i'm probably not going for rh rag either :/ for one, my mum would never allow me to go. asking for permission to stay in hall + go for rag is equivalent to digging my own grave. for another, i realised that a lot of my work times clashes with pracs, so yeah. last reason is that going for rag would mean that i probably can't enjoy much of oweek! ): so probably not going rag lor.

other than that, my dad just bought this i-robot look-a-like on sunday and now it's cleaning the floor. doesn't seem very reliable cos it keeps knocking into stuffs. plus the knocks look quite painful leh :/ and it's mapping doesn't seem very good either. sighz. but ohwell it's just typical of my dad to buy all the things that he want, so yeah. next up might be that scanner that he's been talking about and wanting for ages. and maybe a smartphone. yepp.



first time going to ecp 2 days in a row and i didn't even bring my sunglasses or cap. even though i told myself on first day that i should bring on the second day. SIGH. and now my nose and face a bit sunburnt again :/

tomorrow will be back to driving! such a long hiatus from driving already, i just want to hurry pass on my first try!

now off to do things to make myself happier.

fuck la. seriously, just screw the fuck off.

effing pissed at my mum right now. as usual, huh. it's about hall stuffs this time. ugh. what the fuck. i can understand that she's worried for me staying in hall cos i have to do a lot of things that, according to her would be much easier if i just stayed at home [cos she's doing it for me duh. like all the washing and ironing of clothes.] but that is MY problem. not hers. what the heck manz. and the money stuffs isn't her problem either. i will settle it with my dad. seriously just damn fucking pissed at her.

now she's just pissing me off cos i'm like blogging and talking to kc on msn but when she hears me typing she's just like pissed cos she says i've been out the entire day already but i come home and still use the computer and talk to my friends. then she ask me go study and go read newspapers. fuckkk. then i filled up the medical checkup form and left it on the table for the ink to dry and she was like, "dont ask me to sign any forms, i'm not signing." like wtf la no one's asking you to sign anything, just go back and watch your tv and shut up please thanks. complaining about my mum is never-ending, and i'm already ranting to kc, so let's move on next topic.



went out with rh hall camp romberman og peeps today (: supposed to meet gerard jovin huifang at yishun at 8. gerard was early, i was late, and jovin and huifang woke up when i arrived at yishun lol. think they all playing maple the night before sia. sorry i meant morning. lol. me and gerard left first, and met ethel at bedok late. ethel was early. but we were already the earliest lolz. serangoon group [cos they met at serangoon before going bedok] consisted of arison brandon tack daphne eunice, and were later because they were held up by eunice. ohwellz. she wasn't the worse la. in the end the 8 of us ate macs breakfast first and squeezed in brandon's car to go ecp. played frisbee while waiting for the latecomers, who were all year 2s. arison and eunice year 3 mah. haha we concluded that their batch got latecoming issues. after waiting superrr long, jovin huifang and maureen finally arrived. played a bit more frisbee, then went to dump our bags in brandon's car boot and went rollerblading & cycling. i rollerbladed and omg i felt freaking fail sia. haha. really too long never rollerblade alr. sighz. stopped at carl's jr to eat, then went back and returned our skates. waited for chinmeng to find us, then the girls and chinmeng took brandon's car to marina square while the guys cabbed there. we totally got lost going there lol. and then we went bowling! first time bowling and i think my scores not bad! :D first 10 rounds i got 77. the second 10 rounds i got 109 ^^ hehe. bowling quite fun :D after that we walked to citylink's the connoisseur concerto [tcc] to eat 1-for-1 dinner yaye ^^ and finally went home after that~ today was really quite fun, even if i burnt a damn lot of money. sighh.



other than that, i'm actually in quite a foul mood right now because of a combination of a lot of things. ugh. but well, i guess sometimes i should just learn to let some things go and to give some things up. i can't have everything. i know that. i guess i just need to remind myself what's more important to me, and what i can live without. because sometimes giving up is actually a better choice.

okay i know i said i was supposed to sleep early yesterday but i ended up sleeping around 1 plus almost 2 :/ sighz. was watching the movie streetdance.

anyway, today i woke up kinda late and had to eat breakfast and everything so i ended up being the latest one there :/ met sherilyn ken and mx at the mrt then we took the bus to parkway parade and met yh on the bus (: long journey there before we finally reached, then walked very long more to ecp's bike rental store and got our bikes. rented for 3 hours and we attempted to cycle to changi village but failed, so after half the time we just turned and cycled back. but it was still fun so yepp ^^ after we returned our bikes, we walked all the way back to parkway parade. superrr long walk and it was burning hot! ): SIGH. i think i grew a lot blacker from cycling today as well :/ as if going to sentosa during rhex wasn't bad enough :/ ohwellz. i'm fine with being dark, seriously. it's just my mum who is complaining -.-

from parkway parade, we found a shuttle bus to sengkang mrt so we just hopped on and called kc to tell him that we would be banging down his front door soon (: heh. everyone totally slept on the shuttle bus like super tired lil' kids. felt better after that (: then we got to sengkang and went to buy koi :D my first time buying koi, not kidding. i probably drank a bit of other people's koi drinks before, but this is really my first time getting a koi drink to myself. not bad la but it didn't seem that good either leh. -shrugs- i'm not really into bubbletea much anyway. after we got our drinks, i saw jovin there! :O he totally travelling around singapore everyday la. and after that we took the lrt to kc's house~ houses are always comfy yaye :D i think we all totally treated it like our house luh hahaha. wash feet, open windows, turn on the fan, use toilet to shower, use massage chair machine, use computer, etc. haha. quite fun though (: after 3 rounds of bridge, we got all our stuffs and went down to walk to jalan kayu to eat prata :D shared a large mutton murtabak, and most of them [yh mx kc] ordered plain and egg pratas. i got egg & chocolate prata, sherilyn got plain & chocolate, and ken didn't get anything other than that cos he was going back for dinner. well actually he ordered nasi goreng, but cancelled it later, and then they delivered it to our table, and we were like ?!, and ken quarreled with the guy, and in the end they crossed it off the bill so yepp (: had ice milo as well~ and because the mutton murtabak and plain & egg pratas came first, and chocolate pratas came the last, i was eating it on it's own [plus drinking my milo] and just eat until damn sian. SIGH. not that nice la :/ i think last time i eat the hwach canteen's chocolate tissue prata better ^^ hehe. i miss hwach canteen food sia ♥ after lunch/dinner, i was feeling freakinggg full and my stomach felt like exploding ): sighz. then i was complaining about how full and fat i was and kc damn funny, stand in front of me then ask me, you still want to say that? hahaha. really miss these peeps ♥ i guess it's because there's almost always fun and laughter when i'm with them, so it always feels great to be hanging out with them (:

anyway, we walked to the nearest [damn ulu] lrt station and took the train home. had to change damn lot of times though! change to mrt then change to circle line then change to red line SIGH. so inconvenient sia. played retarded handphone games on the way back and it was just fun crapping la (: heh. walked home with sherilyn & mx and i swear i was still feeling damn full until maybe 10 minutes ago. not kidding. oh i ate this nice dark chocolate just now hehe will take photo the next time i eat another one (: and i finished watching the last few parts of the movie streetdance. okay la, i don't know if it was the bad quality cos i watched online, but i didn't really like the ending finale dance too much. step up is better i guess. perhaps just because there was too much ballet stuff so i couldn't really get it fully. [and also cos of the bad quality la hor. seriously damn painful to watch bad quality shows SIGH ):] i guess also cos of the brit english which almost always sounds damn high-class and stuff, so the whole movie didn't feel very street-ish? i dunno. ohwellz.



on to more important stuffs. i just read this blogpost whose link is going around twitter at the moment. it's by khaw xinlin, this girl from my batch in hwach, whom i know but don't think she knows me la. mostly about the elitist system in hwach and stuffs, and reading it made me really sad as well when i was thinking about those stuffs she blogged about. sighh. i agree with the fact that, when you tell people you're from hwach, they automatically assume that you should do well for everything [especially a's] and that you're damn smart. and i also agree that most of the time, i don't feel that way and i feel that this is a misconception as well. [though i guess for some people, it might just be a way to console themselves - that since they're in hwach, they probably won't do too badly.] but it's a fact that this 'all hwach kids are smart' assumption really doesn't apply to everyone. and it's really fucking annoying when people do that to me. it's like, get real man. just cos i'm in hwach doesn't mean i got straight As, okay? the expectations and all reallyreally sucks. so yes, that part she blogged about, i agree wholeheartedly.

actually, not that i disagree with her on any other parts either la. but for me, unlike her, i felt that hwach was a place that made me happy. perhaps it's because i wasn't happy at stnicks, so i felt that hwach was a better place than stnicks and that made me happier. but i have to say that i honestly enjoyed my time in hwach and some of the friends i've made there have really been some of the best friends ever. even if we're not close anymore now, [and i know a lot of friends whom i used to be superrr close to in jc but we hardly even talk anymore now] i still feel that my time spent with them in jc was really worth it. so yeah. unlike her, i wasn't that unhappy in hwach i guess. and i'm thankful for the life in hwach, really.



but other than that, reading that post made me rather emo. not just about results, yknow, but about life in general. the fact that, honestly, most of the time we all feel that nobody can understand what we're going through. and that's true most of the time really. but it's almost true that even though we feel that way, actually a lot of people go through the same emotions as well, and some even the exact same things. so like, even though we always feel that we're alone, and we ARE alone, we're also actually not as alone as we think. it's hard to explain. it works both ways.

also the fact that we're born into this life on our own, and are going to die on our own as well. and that our whole life, there will be no one accompanying us right from the start to the end, so this whole journey is exclusive only to us. which also means that there's really no point trying to get others to understand you. only you will fully understand yourself. and there's also no point in finding others who go through the same things as you, because who will go through the exact same sequence of events in your life and think the exact same thoughts as you? you're in charge of your own life and there's no point trying to get others to take responsibility or to shift any amount of your life onto others. you've just got to have some discipline and lead your life on your own.

i guess it's hard to explain a lot of things in words. like i can think ten thoughts but perhaps only one will come out well-translated into words which people will be able to understand. it's like how things like feelings and pain cannot really be described fully. how can you describe to someone your confusion, or the extent of your pain?

it's like, sometimes i feel this pang of pain and sadness. and it's so so sooo freaking bad that i feel like just curling up into a ball and crying all the hurt away. but it's not even physical pain, yknow? but you just need to get it out. and yet, it's like crying's not gonna take the pain away. it's like i could cry for hours but still feel it there. i just need to think about it and it hurts. mental pain. mental agony, i guess. it's like, where the fucking hell are the painkillers for that?! and like what the fuck i'm already tearing now. i don't even know why i can cry this easily. i'm not even thinking of anything in particular, yknow? just of sadness and loneliness in general. :/ human emotions are so hard to grasp. so fragile. so easily crushed. leaving only mental agony. or sometimes, leaving an emotion-less person who is no longer human.



the other important topic today is hall life. i mean, i am just seriously thinking about it now. weighing everything, planning everything out. my plan for now is to stay for 2 years and then see my results. if my results are good, i'll probably remain in hall. if i feel like i need significantly more time to improve on my results, i'll probably move back home. at least, that's the best plan i can come up with for now. i'm really considering every single thing now though. that's how i was taught and brought up anyway. to be well-prepared and ready for anything, ready to take any questions and just slam it down like there was never a problem in the first place. if i didn't do that, no one would trust that i would be able to live on my own.

in fact, i am genuinely thankful for the way i was brought up, [which is why i am dedicating a paragraph to this.] other than how my mum spoilt us by doing all the housework for us. because other than that, we were taught to be quick and decisive, to speak up for our rights, to be fearless, to keep fit and healthy, to take care of ourselves, to be well-prepared for anything and everything, to be smart and quick-witted, to take responsibility... just everything, yknow. and i'm really really thankful for all of that. not that i do all of that, but that's how we were brought up la.

back to hall life. uhm. well, to be honest i guess after 18 years of being brought up by my parents and staying at home, i really really just want to get a taste of, not just some freedom, but of the 'outside' world as well. yeah, it's definitely gonna be protected since it's a uni hall still, yknow, but at least i can get a feel of living away from home. and i guess it's a good thing that it'll be like semi-protected? so it's not like directly just being thrown into the adult living world. quite safe already la.

anyway, i've been weighing the pros and cons since i thought about living away from home. now that it's probably gonna be hall stay, i was thinking about chores and stuff and really i think it's about the same. in hall i won't have to check for water leaks & overflowing from the air-con, i won't have to help other people do housework. sweeping the floor is something i'm already doing very often, so that's fine with me - it's only one room anyway, easy max please. then there's washing my clothes, but how hard can that be when there's a washing machine? so the only major thing would be ironing my clothes, which might take some time but which i'm pretty much okay with as well, so yepp. and like, if so many other people can survive in hall, why can't i? i'm not THAT lazy so yeah. should be fine! (:

yes, to be honest i still have a couple of doubts about hall, but i mean, seriously, if i can't take it there i can choose to stay for only one year or even only one sem! so i really don't see too many issues bah. hopefully it'll work out! my dad will help me ask my mum tomorrow ^^



other than that, i was kinda upset about missing the red bull bc one south east asia cypher today. it sounded really epic with all the sea countries' finalists competing so i was just like daymmm. and it wasn't like i had no time to go, because outing with fps ended quite early actually. just, i know my mum wouldn't be happy about it so SIGH. jeez this life really sucks sometimes. shall ask her about tomorrow's outing again! [she was still saying no just now. ugh.]

-gives great big sigh-

okay i seriously need to sleep early today. tomorrow still have cycling and then possibly rollerblading and bowling on sunday. quite crazy so i don't want to be too shag or cramp up any muscles.

today woke up late around 11 and went down to buy stuffs and run errands before going out with a lot of rubbish like holding my shoebag and badminton racquets sigh ): then went to buy bread from the breadshop and ate while walking to woodlands mrt station. omg the egg tart bread is not bad and interesting. even though i think that the breads sold here don't taste very nice, i have to admit that the bakers are really creative, coming up with stuffs like cake+bread and egg tart bread. like really, thumbs up for the effort. arrived at cwp at almost the same time mel arrived at woodlands, so yaye ^^ then because we were both dying from the heat, we walked around cwp for a bit for the aircon hehe. after that walked to the sports hall first [because yh was gonna be late] where it was superrr empty and played badminton for 2 hours (: bought drinks as well yaye :D then both of them showered while i just washed up and changed my shirt and then we walked back to cwp for tea/dinner! first stop was coffeebean where we bought and shared one warm chocolate cake and mango ice blended tea (: both were not bad! :D next stop was kuriya fresh fish market, where we bought sushi and ate our fill :D that was supposedly my dinner. i totally just spammed sushi hehe ^^ think i could have bought more actually HAHA but ohwellz =x a bit paiseh to buy so much also la hor. quite cheap though so yepp (: i also bought the chocolate mousse which was okay-ish. and then after that we all went back. i walked home again! :D for the exercise and because i felt like i seriously ate a lot again after the exercise, so... guilty conscience =x sighh :/ took the shorter way home though. in the early afternoon while walking to cwp i realised i took the superrr long route and i was just like omg wtf why am i doing this to myself T.T which also explains why i was tired from walking and dying from heat when i first arrived at cwp. sigh. ohwellz lesson learnt. next time i walk to cwp i''m taking the shorter route. yepp.

got home and showered and my mum handwashed my clothes for me so yaye cos i didn't have to handwash them myself. i seriously cannot understand how people survive on handwashing clothes. thankgoodness i can use the washing machine when i go stay in hall. i also seriously don't understand how people find it a chore to wash their clothes when they're using the washing machine. i mean, it just involves throwing a pile of clothes into the washing machine. like whuuut? is that not simple enough? gosh. after that i cleaned my piercings and omg seriously if i take them out more often it's much easier to take out and put back in. wow. but i'm not so free to take out and clean everyday leh ._. sighz. after that my brother bought home long john silver's dinner for him and my mum, and i koped food so hehe ^^ quite happy~ yes damn unhealthy though. i can't believe i just ate that after badminton today SIGH.

also, i asked my mum about sunday's outing just now and... SIGH. she's already not happy with me going out today and tomorrow so :/ jeez i don't know. i tried using yh's reasoning that she taught me for going to stay in hall and apply it to the context of going out, but it backfired ): her reasoning was that more friends = more connections = good for working world next time, yeah? well i guess going out might not have been a good context to use that reasoning, because my mum's logic was that more friends = going out more often = spend more money. more friends = i will get influenced by friends. more friends = i will somehow get drugged or something - i have no idea how this works either. totally wth right. sighz. i guess she got that last idea partly because i told her that i was going out with the uni rh hall camp people. GIANT SIGH.

in other news, my handphone was being a bitch for the past couple of days and eating up a lot of battery - i have no idea for what, since i already closed all the need-3g apps like whatsapp and fb and tumblr and twitter, and usually even if i leave them on, they don't eat up THAT much batt either. so it was just like wtf. thank goodness after i turned it off and on again today morning, it has been a much nicer phone and no longer eating up THAT much batt, so yaye (: [not that it's not eating up batt at all, because it still is. sighz.]

i think, at the end of this post, you can totally understand why i started off the post with a great big giant sigh. almost everything i'm blogging about is just depressing ):

well that's all for now (: probably don't have tuition tomorrow so yaye ^^ the crazy week is almost over~

ohmygawd it's almost 2am okay i need to sleep asap.

woke up late today and simply wasted my entire afternoon. didn't even maple ): damn. left the house around 6 to go to sembawang shopping centre [ssc] and reached there early and hungry. ordered two slices [it was actually 4 la hor] of kaya & butter toast at the food junction. okay-ish standard, but it made me reallyreally miss yakun kaya toast T.T must go there soon! after that went to daiso to look for rubber backings but ssc daiso is worse, there wasn't even plastic ones sighh. and then i wanted to get the white belt but there was no white! ): so i got a bronze one instead. black too boring, silver too aa, purple just not my colour. also bought two packets of food to bring into teoheng for karaoke later. jessica and darice were both late sigh. jes arrived first and we went into the room and started singing & eating first, then darice arrived and helped us buy drinks as well yaye. if i don't have sorethroat by the end of this week it will be a miracle. ate seafood crackers that i bought from daiso and bbq chips that jes bought from giant. plus sang for 2 hours plus. totally spammed water after that and even more water when i got home. this week is not just burn money week, it is also kill throat week :/ after starbucks, manhattan fish market, oreo mcflurry, subway cookies, crackers & chips, and potential/upcoming coffeebean and prata, i will really be surprised if my throat is still working at the end of the week.

kk tomorrow still have badminton to play. goodnight!

more updates!

tuesday [yesterday] was spent at cwp with wanjane (: had lunch at manhattan and then walked around the entire cwp after that hahaha and i ended up buying a grey slingbag which i really like ^^ it's like after so long, i finally found a bag that is almost like the one i saw at zinc which yh bought 2-3 years ago when we were shopping for jc schoolbags. [on a side note, time really flies :/] so quite happy with myself! (: except that i think i could have gotten it at a cheaper price elsewhere actually, but i seriously cannot find that style of bag at a lot of places, so yeah, just hurry bought it lor. and i totally didn't know cwp stores had so many nice bags until yesterday. too long never shop there for things other than clothes bah ^^" i saw this blue backpack which i want as well! can use for school! but ): my mum says i should get a proper laptop backpack SIGH. which is not totally without reason and i can understand la, but STILL. i want that blue backpack ): anyway after we walked around cwp for i-seriously-don't-know-how-many-hours, we finally left and i went home for dinner (:

today was movie day with leon! went to plazasing and had lunch at subway then went to watch 第一次 [first time]. i saw the movie trailer on fb when suat posted it and i thought it seemed pretty nice, so i asked her if it was in cinemas and she was like YES GOGOGO WATCH IT or something hahaha so yepp. it was a not bad movie (: although i have to admit [and leon agrees] that the starting was really kind of a turn-off because i thought it was really dumb and i was like wth seriously suat asked me to watch this?! but after that when they started showing the flashbacks it really upped the standard of the movie, so yepp (: after the movie [and a lot of tears D: damn paiseh please leon still say he keep seeing me wiping my tears HAHA crap. paiseh ttm. not that i thought it was very sad actually, it's just that i always tear when watching all these kind of movies/dramas la so yeah :/ sighh.] we went to walk around plazasing~ went to daiso to get rubber backings for my earstuds but THEY DONT HAVE THEM. HURR ): searched around for quite long somemore ): so i got plastic earstuds instead and used the plastic backings for my metal earstuds LOL. a bit waste money since i'm not gonna use the plastic earstuds but ohwellz. then went to comics connection and seriously the mugs there quite nice leh! i want! might buy for my friends next time too (: and then after that we just walked around to random stores lor. like jigsaw puzzle store and then this awesome bookstore called sunny bookshop where you can rent or purchase books and the books are cheaper than usual bookstores like popular or kino :D although they're second-hand la. but most are in pretty good condition and look pretty new so i don't mind really! will go there next time when i need to buy books! (: then went to a couple of dvd stores and then finally went back up for the next movie, snowwhite and the hunstman (: i thought it was not too bad la. definitely much better than the actual story which is just dumb. [in fact i think most of the princess/kiddy/childhood stories are just dumb. i'm sorry for being so blunt, but it's true, and i've been thinking that way since i was a kid and read stupid stories like the boy who cried wolf and totally started despising the boy in the story and stuffs. yeah. i guess i'm not a normal kid. ohwellz.] but like leon fell asleep during the major part of the movie! haha totally what the manz. but he was tired la so yeah. had to fill him in on the details after that hahaha funny sia. okay la not like that didn't happen to me before. i fell asleep while watching a harry potter movie before, but that was like my 2nd time watching it and i was really superrrr tired so yeah. [omg i wanted to say chao ji tired but this stupid desktop doesn't seem to have the chinese input thing damn it ):] after the movie we went to eat dinner at pastamania (: and leon was officially broke after that. only 20 cents in his wallet liao. haha. then went home~ yaye my train came quickly and it was quite empty even though it was like 7 plus and supposedly peak hours cos everyone supposed to go home after work? strange. ohwellz i'm not complaining ^^

and i changed back from earsticks to earstuds so YAYE. thank goodness for the plastic backings, which are much easier to remove than the stupid metal butterfly backings which i seriously hate cos my fingers will hurt a lot after removing them ): still looking for rubber backings though! who knows where else might have besides daiso, please let me know! ohyeah was also looking for belts in daiso today but they were out of stock! ): nevermind hahaha tomorrow i going sembawang shopping centre for karaoke so i can go to the daiso there to find yaye! :D did i mention? i'm totally loving my new grey slingbag hehe ^^ really very soft and comfy ^^


okay i took so long to blog that i don't think i'll have time to maple anymore ): need to sleep soon. rawrr. tomorrow shall be my first proper mugging day in the entire week. and this week is seriously spend money like burning paper week. gonna be so broke at the end of it all ): goodnight world!

okay let me just do a quick update on life for the past week before i go off to play maple again xD


slacked at home all the way after tuesday's outing with sarah until sunday, when i finally stepped out of the house again. went to raffles hall [rh] at nus for rag dance auditions, which was really more of just sorting everyone into respective choreos. other og peeps there were ethel tack gerard arison and maureen (: pearly and her friend came as well, and her friend is from hwachong apparently :O anyway, learnt 3 dance choreos. the first choreo was something everyone had to do, and i think it was quite okay la. second choreo was kind of hard for me ._. and the third choreo was very nice but crazily hiphop standard! hahaha but i managed to get it luh, just that sort of forgot the steps during the audition round ohmygawd T.T hopefully can get to do that choreo! it's really damn nice, i want to try! ^^

after that, the seniors asked us to 顺便 go tryout for cheerleading as well. i was thinking that the kingedwardvii [ke] guy from cheerleading looked super familiar but couldn't remember where i saw him before - only after the entire cheerleading tryouts did i realise he was that dude who i talked to during open house and asked about ke. hahaha interesting. anyway there were ke & rh peeps cos these 2 halls do rag together so yepp. our rag dance auditions was also rh & ke peeps so yeah. cheerleading tryouts was really an eye opener. not that i hadn't seen such things before, but i don't think i've seen such stunts close-up and i've definitely never tried doing them before, so yeah. but seriously, never in my life did i think i would ever be doing cheerleading, even if it was just tryouts ._.

basically there are 5 components to cheerleading, cheer, stunts, gymnastics, dance, and something else i forgot ._. we only tried the first three. cheer was just shouting which was pretty much okay, gymnastics included forward and backward roll, [omg i'm so noob i can't even do a forward roll T.T got phobia sia. ever since that time in stnicks where my neck sort of went funny after i did a roll ): i did the backward roll though.] and cartwheel which me and my ogmates didn't do cos UH. we see the others do until so pro, then we were like ._. okaaay. haha. then the stunts we tried 2. the girls will always be standing on top so ._. scary much. really have to trust the guys which sometimes i don't la. i mean, i trust the seniors but not the freshies? :/ haha not bias or anything, just that the seniors have been doing those stunts for at least a year already yknow, so yeah. we tried one basic stunt, ['THE most basic stunt', according to the senior.] forgot the name of it, and it was okay-ish, but i think i wasn't very steady :/ took like 3 tries to get up there, and even then, when i got down, the senior was giving me pointers on doing it better so :/ and later on at the end we tried elevator, which was really quite scary. i mean, the support is at your feet and ankles only, and you're THAT high up, yknow. tbh though, the only scary parts were the going up & coming down. once you go up and get your balance, standing on top there is just plain awesome. it's really no kick. you just stand there, don't move, and you're so high up, it almost feels good. in fact, when the guy asked me to smile, i really meant it when i smiled, because yeah, it felt really good to be standing so high up there (: so yeah, i have to admit that i really had fun with that, even though the process of getting up there was T.T and coming down was kinda scary as well. but well, i took 2 tries only to do it well so quite happy with myself! ^^

after that, we went back to the dance studio, got our things, and went to have dinner at subway with arison tack ethel gerard. then arison stayed back in school while we all went home. fun day! ^^ and i think going out with my og peeps really makes me high. haha no kidding, after rhex camp i was high for at least a week sia.



today was go out to mug day! woke up quite late, then met yh at the mrt station and headed to clementi mall (: had lunch at ajisen ramen again [we already ate there that day with yh's mum as well haha.] and then went to shop at pepperplus cos yh wanted to exchange a top she bought there. i bought a pair of shorts and this red dress which i really quite like (: kudos to yh for spotting it haha. after that, went starbucks to mugmugmug like good students. saw joey cheong there :O she was having computing camp haha cool sia. i didn't go for scamp whoops :/ and then after that me & yh went to shop again LOL but didn't buy anything la, then went homeee~ for dinner. also asked my dad to help me ask my mum to let me stay in hall. his reply? [i shall attempt to translate it into proper english.] 'You just go. But come back often cause mummy will miss you. I will discuss it with her. And she will definitely say no. But you will have my support and I will try to convince her to let you go.' what can i say? sometimes it's really hard to explain how awesome my dad can be. so yeah, all in all, i guess today was a rather good day (:


photos~ [some long overdue]

from rhex camp! ^^

view from waterfront!

failed ben&jerry's attempt with sarah ):

so we ended up eating this mocha snowice for dessert - SUPER NICE & YUMMY

lunch at ajisen ramen with yh (:

starbucks mugging with yh~

HAHAHA we are (Y)

and i am fully booked from 17 to 29 june, every single day. even more busy than yh even though it's her holidays sia. haha what is this i have no idea either. ohwellz will blog again soon if i have time! seeya~

okay i won't be uploading photos today either because i'm too lazy to transfer the photos over from my phone ^^"

anyway, y'all should totally go read this blogpost at http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/why-are-we-so-ungrateful/
my exact sentiments and a hundred percent true. i think about that all the time and honestly i'm always wondering why people cannot just accept the good for what it is. i wish some people would just stop trying to deny the praises that we give them. what's so difficult about just accepting it, saying thank you, and feeling good about it? why can't people just accept that this life that they are leading is probably a thousand times better than someone else's life, that they should be feeling grateful for every single second that they are able to experience?


anyway, woke up early today and went for bboy class at hwach! when i got there i saw a couple of seniors and juniors there already. plus the grandjuniors, of course, who are the current batch. nelson kuan was the one who asked me whether i was going back on fb and he was late! ): so felt a bit awkward walking into the studio :/ and xinyun was like superrr late so yeah. other than that, it was great fun being back and breaking again. it's been a while. bboy class really made me happy though (: i always feel like breaking again after going for bboy class. anyway, i left around 1 after more seniors came lolz and everyone was like wah you going off so early?? but ohwellz i was meeting sarah after that so couldn't stay! walked over to college section and met sarah there ^^ went to change my shirt and then we walked out of school and took a bus to rochester mall! wanted to get our free ben&jerry scoops actually, but apparently it was only for 16 june ): ended up eating nasi lemak at some random small food store at the mrt station, then took mrt to dhoby ghaut where we had awesome dessert at a chinese dessert place and then walked around and shopped ^^ left plazasing around 5 and went home~ tired siol.

ohmygawd okay i MUST sleep early today! need to wake up early tomorrow rawrr. going back to school in the morning for dance, then gonna collect a level cert and go lunch with sarah yaye! ^^

anyway, yknow how i said that i finished clearing 1/4 of my stuffs yesterday? well, i take my words back. i only cleared 1/8 of it yesterday! finished 1/4 today i guess. i further cleaned up my desk because i didn't do a very thorough job yesterday, and because my mum got round to clearing a couple of boxes, so i had to go through the stuff [cos they were mine] to see what i wanted to keep and throw. which took up a superrr long time. like half the afternoon. but, i successfully managed to clear out a box so i had an empty box to use after that, where i dumped my jc chem math lit stuffs. (:

attempted to install maple on my desktop but ohmygawd did you see the waiting time! -dies- i think need one day to download bah. guess i'll try on wednesday or something then. since it's so late already and i'm supposedly going to sleep early today so cannot download tonight :/ attempting to patch audi & ge as well. audi patch failed just now ): rawrr. [edit: okay patch failed again & ge is taking really long as well so i just cancelled everything.] and i seriously need to stop eating after dinner! jeez. it's not even like i was hungry but because my mum put the container of tapioca crisps next to me so i will auto eat. which is VERY BAD. ugh. i need to get rid of this bad habit ):

other than that, both my dad and brother pissed me off today :/ i wonder if it's because i'm getting more easily annoyed. i also accidentally told my mum something about yh & hostel life, and because of that she started getting this very disapproving tone about living in hostel. ugh. wrong move. 8 more days till hall results are out. i need to get her to agree to this. no turning back, no more regrets, i just need to go all out now.

also trying to exercise more often now and i really hope it works! i swear it's really effing hard to exercise often with my mum at home.

wanted to upload photos but maybe not this time. time to sleep!

once again, blogging before i go to sleep! (: though i really need to sleep soon :/

saturday was a crazy day! didn't eat much in the early afternoon [i woke up quite late anyway] and had to bear with the hunger until my dad came home around 2 plus, and then we all changed and went out to cwp swensen's for late lunch/early dinner! ^^ sat down and ordered the food, then me and my dad hurried downstairs to the jewellery stores because my dad wanted to get something for my mum. 25th anniversary and this is the first ring she gets! gosh. ohwellz. we chose this really pretty sapphire ring with diamonds (: i think the coloured gems are all very pretty! ^^ like sapphire and topaz and stuffs (: there was this pretty sapphire pendant that my dad asked if i wanted. haha didn't get it though. yupp and then while we were still choosing, my brother called to say that the food had arriveddd but we took really long to get things done so when we finally went back up, some of the food were kinda cold already :'( and i wanted to get a photo of the dishes cos i thought they'd all look very pretty but since we got back so late, sadface ):

anyway, the food was not bad! my dad didn't like it but whateverz. we got... clam chowder soup [the one in the bread! :O damn cute & the bread is nice! ^^], baked mussels, fish baked rice for my mum [which was honestly not very nice. why did i remember that it was nice the last time i ate! ): was my taste so bad last time? D:], ribeye steak for my dad [well done, which is kinda :/ cos it's really stiff. note to self: if i ever order steak for myself, get it medium rare or something (:], chilli crab pasta for my brother [the crab was not bad :D], fried fish with apricot mayo for myself, soup of the day [i think it was mushroom], a cup of sprite, a scoop of mocha almond fudge ice cream [super nice! except for the almonds which i didn't really like added into the ice cream. i'd rather have the ice cream on its own.], ring-a-ding-a-ling [which is a mixture of vanilla & chocolate ice cream and fudge/sauce/whatever you call that sauce-like thing they add in sundaes], milo indulgence [which tbh i didn't really like either because i'd rather eat icecream on its own than with weird chocolate crisps, and it tasted a bit weird but ohwellz.], and another cone of fries. yepp! really swensen's spam sia. we didn't buy ice cream cake back in the end because my mum and brother were being spoilsports and i guess we were all fat and full as well so yepp.

my dad wanted to go sing karaoke after that but as i said, my mum and brother were being spoilsports, so we didn't go in the end. it's obvious from family outings like these that there is a rather huge difference between me and my dad vs my mum and my brother. so yeah, they just ended up going right home after that. boring or not. but anyway, it was good for me, because i had fuchun outing after that (: sent my family to the mrt station, then went back cwp and walked around and shopped a bit~ saw this pair of pants that i liked, but the length was a bit weird so i didn't get it in the end. looked nice though! gave me an idea of what kind of pants i wanted as well (:

was supposed to meet ken mx yh sherilyn in cwp before dabao-ing dinner and going waterfront to eat. since i was shopping, ken & mx came to find me and then we stoned in the middle of nowhere afterwards waiting for sherilyn [who was already in cwp] and yh [who was late]. then we went up to food junction which is open now! :O and looks nice and all but superrr lot of people there sia. maybe cos it was a saturday night. ken & sherilyn bought food there while the rest of us went down to basement's fourleaves to get bread for dinner. i didn't buy anything because i was still full from swensen's! then yh went to pierce her other ear and then we finally made our way to the bus interchange to go waterfront. got off at the bus stop near yh's house and walked past her house, while she went up to put down her stuffs & get food haha. in the meantime, we walked to waterfront all the way to the playground area. haha playgrounds ftw. we're like the playground gang. sat near the jetty and ate dinner while talking and stuffs. a lot of insects there though ): but it was fun (: and then mx went to jog -.- crazy dude haha. while we played the running man game of trying to get your face in the middle of the camera. mx's camera noob though, cannot take self timer + consecutive. only can choose either one ): we also hid his sandals and the bag of chips that he wanted to eat. thank goodness the sandals didn't fall into the sea haha.

after he got back and we tried hiding from him as well while he went to change, we finally went to the playground and attempted to scare little kids away RAWR. okay no luh not really. spinned, climbed, swung, and camwhored, which were all a ton of fun (: then we finally left the playground around 11pm and walked back to yh's house, where we camped for about half an hour before mx's dad arrived in his car and sent all of us back home (: got home at like 12am ^^" anyway, thanks to yh's parents for letting us chill there, mx's dad for sending us home, and most of all, my primary school friends yh mx ken & sherilyn for a wonderful night ♥ i totally felt like a kid again playing with them (: love y'all loads~





spent today's [sunday] late afternoon and evening rather productively clearing my desk and cupboard (: at first i just kept thinking that i wanted to clear my stuffs everywhereee at home because i have so much rubbish everywhere and they're all collecting dust, but then i just kept procrastinating :/ so i'm glad i finally managed to get down to doing some work! my desk & cupboard is like only 1/4 of the things i need to clear manz. still have this whole stash of birthday/vday/whatever-day presents, a coffee table piled up with a lot of my books & magazines & schoolwork, and my old cupboard which has all my primary school junk. rawrr. and actually if i really want to clear my old stuff, there's still all my primary school work in some box & secondary school work mixed up in a lot of random bags ._. might not bother clearing those though, since they're schoolwork so i might need to refer to them next time! comes in really handy for tuition (:

just ate my first [okay maybe not first but i don't think i've eaten one in a longlong time so it feels like first] kinder surprise and i got this cute car that rolls ^^ and omg kinder surprise is really yummy! but there's so little to eat in one egg ): and i spammed rubbish like lau hong-ed chocolate biscuits just now so hopefully my stomach won't go funny :/ because it was already feeling funny in the early afternoon ):



i can't believe i'm going to be studying a bio-related course for the next 4 years of my life in uni. like, my bio is so cui and i still want to study?! what am i thinking! x.x i just hope i won't die too badly, i still want my honours leh :/

gonna eat brunch/lunch with sarah & i think zhiwei as well on tuesday (: haven't seen them in a while! and can collect cert liao! on one hand, i want to get it over and done with cos i'm too lazy to make a special trip to school just to take the cert, but on the other hand, i know that seeing the cert will just make me feel all upset again so :/ sighz.

and my 20th june week is crazily filled with activities. 20th will be results out for hall acceptance which means i need to keep my mum in a good mood, 21st karaoke with wanyee jes jac and darice, 22nd afternoon badminton & tea with yh and mel, 22nd night OR 23rd afternoon OR 23rd night cycling with fuchun peeps again, 24th possibly og outing for the entire day & night, 25th medical checkup, and 26th - 29th driving lessons & exam. crazy right! x.x hope i don't die and praying damn hard my mum will agree to let me stay in hall. i already asked her a few times but when i do, her reply is just to nag at me and get angry with me. jeez.

ok need to sleep NOW before my mum wakes up again and realises that i'm still awake at this time and kills me. goodnight!

rawr okay just a quick update before i go to sleep! [i seriously need to sleep earlier sia.]

still high over rhex and my og has a whatsapp group now so it's just like spam messages! haha quite siao really. my ogls and seniors are lovely peopleee ♥ not to mention damn bigshot. jovin sports director, huifang cultural director, eunice social director, arison vice president-elect. (Y) when i read the email that sebas [okay sebastian but everyone calls him sebas right] sent, i was like omg half of the people on the list/in the email are from our og! ^^ ogmates are awesome as well, gonna join rh rag dance together yaye! :D i actually asked pearly to join with me at first because i thought no one from my og going, but in the end got 3 of them going! chinmeng ethel gerard. haha we all loyal to rh de! (: this brandon go join engin rag hmph. anyway, aside from the og peeps being very epic and fun to talk to, we're also gonna have og meetup soon yaye! sounds like we're gonna eat good food so hehe :D

ohyes and i was thinking about going for scamp and i asked huifang and she really damn bigshot sia haha she was like saying if i want to join she can pull me in. so good! why our seniors all so good and nice de! :') but i don't think i'll be going after all ): would really love to but my mum has been quite pissed at me these few days already. plus that day, like a couple of days after hall camp, i told/asked her [again] about staying in hall and she got really pissed off. then i was checking the dates and scamp is 17-21 june and like hall acceptance will be out on 20th june, so it means that i'll have to get my mum in a very good mood before or during that 20th june period if i really want to press that accept button for hall! which means going for scamp is like a definite no. i mean like, 99% chance that it would make her mood go down like crazy, so yeah.

i also haven't decided on my major/course yet. i am not kidding. thank goodness i don't have to declare yet. really need some more time to think about it. at least my choices have been narrowed down to 2 now, so yeah.

in other news, i just spent the entire week after getting home from camp on monday recuperating and recovering from hall camp! haha not kidding! have been sleeping like siao. i guess it's partly because i sleep so late on normal days as well :/ whoops. haha. but yeah, in the daytime these couple of days i've been sleepy ttm and just crash like a dozen times. and i was supposed to have tuition tmr and sunday but they've both been cancelled~ whoo! still recuperating from lack of sleep here yo. ohyes and i have a singlet tan now. which i can't decide is good or bad, but at least my upper and lower arms are the same shade of brown now, so no more tshirt tan yaye! :D i'll look damn weird with off-shoulder tops or anything like that though :/

tomorrow is gonna be an exciting day! late afternoon my family is going out for late lunch/early dinner at swensen's! ^^ my dad treating! parents' 25th anniversary. i never knew. didn't even know the date sia, until like yesterday when my dad suddenly ask if i want to go swensen's anot. he say it's the first time he's celebrating their anniversary! wow. haha but yeah quite cool! (: i'm all ready to go there and eat good food! :D haha and i was advising my dad on the food there, like the mussels not bad, then he was like how you know, you eat before? and i was like yeah, then he was like WAH. this girl ah! everyday eat swensen's is it!! hahaha damn funny! we gonna eat ice cream as well! ^^ and then buy home an ice cream cake! whoo~ so fun! after that i'm having a SECOND dinner with fuchun peeps! yh ken mx sherilyn ^^ probably gonna dabao food from cwp then go waterfront and eat :D haha like a damn romantic picnic sia!

YUPP okay end of updates! more to come~ ^^ haha sorry for spamming exclamation marks :P goodnight!

and i'm back from camp! rhex camp has really been a great & fun experience and i'll definitely miss all the people, not just my ogmates but the seniors as well!

day 1, friday. i arrived late but i wasn't the latest. we did self-intro and then played ice breaker games. to be honest i wasn't really all that high or enthu, and i didn't really talk much to the other people in my og either. later on they were saying that their first impression of me was quiet and shy, until i started opening up on the second day or something. haha i guess that's most people's first impression of me anyway, because i AM very shy when around people i don't know yet. after that we got our rooms and threw our bags and stuffs there before going down for wet games. a lot of it was quite similar to wet games in hwachong orientation. there was the sliding across the table, which was like sliding across benches in hwach orientation, and a much easier slippery slope as compared to hwach's one, but kind of difficult nonetheless considering that we had to climb up using specific methods. so i thought the wet games were just okay-ish, which might have been due to my lack of enthusiasm at that point in time. after that we had mass wet games, which was pretty much like war games in hwach except that instead of wetting a shirt, it was the most number of waterbombs/plastic bags in this dustbin thing. yepp. and then there was a crawling through obstacles and soap to get a good hand of poker cards as well. after wet games, there was lunch, then pool games. changed into swimming attire and had a TON of fun at pool games because i just feel RIGHT when i'm in the water. it's just this feeling of almost being in heaven, really. the only thing i was afraid of was my feet cramping up but i stretched before that and nothing happened during pool games, so yaye (: pool games were pretty fun, especially the ones that required us to move around in the water. yes, i'm really in love with being in the water. after pool games, we went to shower and change, and then played laser tag which i thought was pretty fun but ended up being kind of annoying as well because i kept dying ): and then another game, running man, which i can't remember much about now. then we had dinner and then secret pal night 1, where the ogls helped us to do speed dating while blindfolded. quite interesting first-time experience meeting new people while blindfolded, but i think it's really good in a way that you really won't judge the person by appearance. the world should be more like that. really quite fun talking to people, and it was still a bit awkward but not really that awkward la, so yeah (: after that, we were done and dismissed, but our og had a room session, where we all gathered in a room [one of the spare rooms, or so we thought, until jovin said on the 3rd day that it was his room, and i was like OH RIGHT, i didn't know that ._.] and just talked about random stuffs and ate supper. quite fun, really (: i like that kind of culture so yeah (: the only problem is that i don't know if i'll even have time to do that when lessons start, because i'm really damn scared that i'll be too busy with everything and just die. sigh :/ anyway, it ended around 2 plus and i slept around 3am. then woke up around 7am the next day, crazy right. 4 hours of sleep only ): but it's not the worst.

day 2, saturday. woke up in the morning [and already had both of my arms aching], had breakfast [bread with yummy spreads like nutella, jam, kaya, peanut butter. very yummy (:], then we all fitted into 3 buses which brought us to bedok reservoir, where we had dragonboating, which was really fun. tiring, but fun. also, i was saying that after dragonboating plus the aching arms from the previous day, i was just going to wake up on the 3rd day and not be able to move. lol. didn't happen la hor. after that, i went back with my wet clothes because i couldn't be bothered to change =x got back and showered and changed, then went to comm hall [communal hall] for lunch with the og. after lunch was rhex exploration games, which was pretty okay as well. we went around nus a bit, the places nearer to raffles hall, like yih [yusof ishak house], the arts and design block, and the engineering block, for fun games (: first one at yih was guessing titles of songs while watching someone dance to it. second one at arts and design block was pictionary while passing it down through 10 people or so, until it reaches the last person, who's supposed to guess the word/phrase that. it sounds okay but it's not, because the picture can get really screwed up when being passed down 10 people who all have to try and replicate the exact same drawing they saw from the previous person. the last one was a pretty fun game that involved different stages to complete, held at engineering block. ohyeah and we went into the auditorium there as well, and they have cool chairs (: after that was dinner and then sp [secret pal] night 2. we were blindfolded again, had to look for our blindfolded partner, [chosen mostly in order of our preference, so usually our first or second or third choice of partner, decided from the previous night.] and then do a lot of funny and weird activities while still blindfolded. would be awkward ttm if we weren't blindfolded i swear. after that, we were separated from our sps again, and we were left to stone in a room and they played movies for us to watch, while we waited for our turn for the 'romantic trail' with our sp, which was actually just a haunted house trail thing. i was actually quite freaked out at the haunted house trail, i totally have no idea why. i'm not usually scared of haunted house kind of stuffs leh! rawr. anyway, the whole thing took really long and we were only dismissed at like 1 plus in the morning. yes i'm not kidding. [and i hadn't even bathed yet, cos there wasn't really much time to bathe after dragonboating and before lunch.] went to bathe and change, and then my og had room session again as well, though we could choose not to go if we wanted to sleep. obviously i just went for fun lo. it ended around 5am and i slept around 5.30am i think. had to wake up around 8.30am for the next day, which meant only 3 hours of sleep. damn siao.

day 3, sunday. the whole morning and most of the afternoon was spent at sentosa. we met in comm hall for briefing and then we were supposed to get to sentosa on our own, as an og. so we took public transport to harbourfront and 打包-ed brunch, then ate together as an og at vivocity rooftop, then hurried to sentosa [we were late lol.] for the beach games. the sun was super hot. i put sunblock on my face already before leaving hall, but put more on my arms and stuff, but i was thinking that since we were wearing rhex singlet, i could let the sun make me blacker and give me nicer tan lines, because i have lousy tan lines since i almost always seem to wear tshirts with rather long sleeves when under the sun ._. so yeah, i didn't really put sunblock on my upper arm, just lower arm. bad idea. ): the back of my shoulders ended up sunburnt and now they're just really reddish and hurt like crap when anything rubs against my shoulder, tshirt included T.T but anyway, beach games at sentosa were all quite fun, [if you don't consider the super hot sun shining down and burning my shoulders and face and even the sand which burnt my feet.] so yeah, enjoyed it! (: after all the sentosa games, most of the ogs hung back to play games in the sea [or i suppose also mostly to wash off all the sand on their clothes and get themselves supposedly cleaner, after the sandcastle game.], but my og was the one which stayed the latest. after washing up and changing clothes, we headed back to nus and to hall, and then changed into retro attire before going to comm hall to gather for finale night. finale night was like a dinner and performance thing, so we could get our food and then sit down and listen to the band playing while we ate (: there were also a few more activities, before the points and everything was finally announced and the rhex director, aaron, declared the end of rhex. which, at that point in time, even though i still wasn't feeling that enthu about my og, felt kind of sad because it was like, i JUST got to know my ogmates, yknow? and now you're telling me to go separate ways with them :/ anyway, our og hung around for really long, and i called my mum and she was pissed but i managed to get her to be okay with me staying for another night, so yepp (: [because we could actually use our rooms until the next morning] my og camwhored a LOT in the comm hall, then hung around somemore, until the ogls finally planned a time to meet for another room session and i went back to shower before going. last room session was cut down pretty much on people, since a few of them left that night to go home. we ate junk and drank alcohol and talked and played games. whiskey makes my throat super dry ): but i was okay with the taste, which apparently didn't seem very right to shikang and brandon, who were saying i was a siao drinker or something LOL. i was just okay with the taste, which i think is more of personal preference and taste? it ended around 5 plus and i think i slept around 6am. was planning to wake up around the later half of 8, but my mum just HAD to call at like 8am to ask if i was awake yet. wth. so i ended up waking up early and packed and everything. 2 hours of sleep sia wth right. then we all pretty much brought everything out of our rooms, waited downstairs for ogls [who took super long], and finally dumped our bags in lower lounge before walking to engineering block to eat macs for breakfast. talked a lot while eating, then walked back, and continued talking in lower lounge, then shifted to comm hall to continue talking, until tackwei's dad came to fetch him and gave me ethel and maureen a lift to the mrt as well. and then i went HOME.

YAYE END OF STORY. pardon me i am feeling crazily sleepy and fell asleep at least 10 times while typing this post. will double check my story again tmr in case there's any errors. for now, goodnight!

[insert:
OGLs - jovin, maureen, cheryl, shikang, eunice & huifang who is not an OGL but still a senior (:
fellow OGmates - ethel, daphne, samantha, zining, brandon, tackwei, chinmeng, gerard, yanjie.]

okayy i've settled almost everything already and 90% done packing ^^ just need to throw a couple more things into my bag & i'll be like 95% done and then tmr morning i will settle the rest! (: i guess i'm mostly just waiting for sleeping time now. was really quite crazy though. like because apparently my group is green so i'm supposed to bring green tshirts and i was like omggg i only have one?! then my mum managed to find one of my brother's green tshirts so i will reluctantly be grateful for having a brother who has a green tshirt i guess.

and then i had to change to earsticks which was just rawrrr cos it took freakinggg long ): especially the pulling out of the butterfly backing & the putting in of the earsticks which never seem to go the correct direction! ): cos no matter which direction i tried pushing the earstick in, it freaking hurtttt ): [same for my earstuds when i take them out & put back in as well ):] took like uhm 20 tries i think before i got the correct direction of the hole. and a lot of rests in between cos my ear hurt ): so i think total took like half an hour to an hour to get the sticks in ZZZ. sian ttm. can't decide if i should do this more often for practice [the horror] or just do it less often because it's so troublesome. -GIANT SIGH-

OKAY off to brush teeth & sleep soon! (: goodnight & i hope my camp goes well & fun! (: