haven't had time to blog for a long long time, and i don't really have time now either, but just wanted to type a short post because you really need to look back on life sometimes and think about it.

so my 19th birthday is over just like this and i don't feel any different at all.

rhmp ended last night and it was really fun to be playing with all the musicians, especially crazy and funny people like jermain, lacie, willy, qinyuan, ka tsun, renyi, etc. i don't know how to describe it, but my dad said a couple of weeks ago that musicians are just different. the way they think or talk or feel, maybe. i don't know different where, exactly. but yeah, they just feel different to me. i don't know if it was being able to click or just enjoying their company, but i had a really fun time hanging out with those people over the past few weeks, but especially so in the past few days leading up to rhmp, where we really spent a lot of time together and laughed a whole lot. thanks guys ♥ y'all are some pretty awesome shit.

so after the performance i received a card from rhmp musicians last night together with a birthday song, which was pretty nice (: then met tung & zili who gave me a giant lollipop and another card haha aww (: thanks zili! [i have a really awesome desk partner! first person i've met who is so innocent and naive, and yet so mature. plus being able to click with her because we are totally same frequency people. thankful for an awesome desk partner, really (:] and then went to eat supper with them near ameen. it was some chinese/hongkong food place and we ate dumplings and mantous and noodles (: really thankful for them for coming to watch my performance! ♥ it just made me feel like i had friends, i guess, since no one else came to watch the performance just for me :/ after supper with them, i went back to hall to put my stuff down, and then ended up going to archies where they were having a post-concert celebration and free drinks all on mr leong's tab. wow. the total bill added up to a thousand plus, which was really pretty crazy. mostly drank beer - tiger, heineken, whatever - which all made me pretty hungry so we spammed food as well haha. everyone was crazily high but i didn't join in cos i wasn't and i'm not the go-crazy-with-high-ness kind of person, but it was pretty interesting. went back around 3 plus or 4 i think. and then i showered and just crashed while sitting next to my bed. fell asleep and woke up around 6 plus in the morning, went to the toilet, and went back to sleep.

i woke up at 11 plus in the morning. and realised that i was freaking late for going home. was supposed to be home at 11, but only ended up reaching home around 12.45pm. whoops. think my family was a bit angry with me, but it being my birthday and all.. haha. ohwell. wanted to go cwp to eat at crystal jade, but we later realised that it was no longer there, so we ended up eating at some random hongkongcafe instead. spent about 80 plus there for lunch, and then my parents bought more food home for dinner later on. haha. dinner was mostly oreo cheesecake [my birthday cake] because it was so filling! after that we could hardly eat anything else for dinner ): and then after dinner my dad sent me back to hall on his bike! WOOTS. best feeling ever (: best present is really to be on a bike. heh (:

came back to hall, and thank goodness i hadn't showered yet because my blockmates totally followed the usual birthday routine and smashed cake in my face ): so sad right. totally bullying me lor! ): sigh. but ohwell there was a nice blackforest cake that junhao bought cos he remembered that i said i liked blackforest :O whoa totally (Y) at his memory sia. haha. i don't even remember it myself. so yepp thankful for my blockmates as well for celebrating my birthday (: (: heh. thanks guys (:

and yeah, that's about it for my birthday.

and for this year, i thought i'd set 3 goals for myself to accomplish in my 19th year of life. only thought of 2 so far though, so here they go:
1) ride a motorbike. for real.
2) find a song that i like and learn how to play it on violin and record it.

will think of the 3rd one and post it when i get to it.

that's all for now~



i'm 19.
but it just feels too 陌生 to me. ohwell.

just feeling kinda lost right now. seeing other people doing the things that they love to do just makes me wonder why i can't be more like them. is it really because i have no time to pursue the things that i love? or is it just because i don't try to make time for them, because i'm actually too lazy to chase my dreams? i really hope it's not because of the second option, but i don't even know myself.

after all, if you're always trying to meet deadlines for work and everything, after a while you'll realise that your life was only about completing meaningless tasks and that you never really lived. i really don't want to end up like that. i really really don't.

just had my first violin concert today! with NUS symphony orchestra (: first time performing with my violin (:

i don't really know how or what to feel about it, mostly because it didn't feel like that much of a concert since we played outdoors at NLB plaza, but i'm happy that i've performed with my violin. i guess that's just one of the many tiny wishes i have for myself which i've fulfilled now (:

thankyou to rhoc ogmates mingde maurice jennifer and ningjin for coming down to watch and support, and leon as well even though he came down late. i think i'm really someone who appreciates music people. but quite funny, cos when mingde and leon saw each other, they recognised each other and then after that they both went to say hi to their senior, ernest, together. lol. the world is too small.

after the concert, went back to school and helped to shift all the instruments back to cfa before v2 section [or what was left of it] went to utown for dinner/supper (: just wanted to give a shoutout to v2 for being such an awesome section because you guys really make my day every time we have sectionals/hang out together. also, special thanks to zili for being an awesome desk partner. damn glad that we're desk partners!

that's all for now. i need to sleep now. yaye don't need to wake up early tomorrow cos there's no hall breakfast on sunday (: goodnight!



life will only ever be as good as what you make of it.